The presidential campaign kicks off officially tomorrow in Iowa. So, without unnecessary explanation, VodkaPundit would like to endorse Senator Fred Thompson for the Republican nomination for President. It’s true I once called him “Punxsutawney Fred,” but his anti-candidacy has grown on me, and his backing of Federalist principles is a welcome break from eight years of big-government "compassionate conservatism." Thompson might not be ideal, but he's certainly better than we usually get, or even expect.

In the end, Rudy Giuliani would just be too exhaustingly combative to live with for four or more years. John McCain still needs punishing for the McCain-Feingold Act (a million years in Purgatory might be enough). Mitt Romney is just too slick by half, maybe three-quarters. And Mike Huckabee is so far off the ranch he's over on the next ranch, where they raise alpacas or ostriches or something.

And I sincerely hope that, for all his faults, Ron Paul stays in the campaign long enough to remind Republicans that they're supposed to at least give lip service to smaller government. I think Dr. Paul's foreign policy prescriptions would be the end of this country, and that his acceptance of "North American Union" conspiracy theories proves he lacks even a loose grip on reality. But it's nice to have at least one true-blue believer in human liberty in the race... and if that believer has to be Paul, then so be it.

My second choice for the Democratic nomination is Barrack Obama. We probably don't agree on much, and he speaks and writes in such vague platitudes that I really have no idea what he stands for. However, he seems a decent enough fellow, unlikely to do the Republic too much harm during a stint in the Oval Office. I don't think the same could be said for Hillary Clinton, and not just the word "fellow." In recent weeks, I think she's proven herself too brittle to survive the hardships of the presidency. Although if she wins the nomination, I’d like to change my Republican endorsement to Giuliani, for the same reason other people watch WWE cage matches.

There's nothing much wrong with Chris Dodd or Joe Biden. The country has had far less satisfactory men in the White House, and that's more often than not. So while they're not good enough (or bad enough) to endorse, feel free to file them in the "I Could Live With That" folder. The last time, however, the Democrats were smart enough to nominate someone Mostly Harmless was Bill Clinton back in 1992 -- and Clinton was their last full-two-terms President since FDR died 63 years ago. I don't expect the Democrats to be that smart again, quite so soon.

(Drumroll, please...)

VodkaPundit endorses Representative Dennis Kucinich as the Democratic nominee for the office of President of the United States of America. Until the Democrats shun their wacky wing -- as the Republicans have effectively done to Pats Buchanan and Robertson, and will do soon to a Mike called Huckabee -- the Republic needs a constant reminder of just how dangerously nutty the left wing really is. A UFO-spotting pseudo-Marxist dwarf with shoe polish in his hair ought to do the trick. I was going to endorse John Edwards for being just as crazy, then realized he's probably sane enough to do some real damage.

And now with all due solemnity, I say: It’s time for the people of Iowa to make their choice -- not that I expect them to get it right.