I know exactly what you are talking about. I have 2 extremely cute kids and trust me it doesn't stop at least through the first three years and change.

I hope you aren't expecting it get any better. :)

My cute kid is about to turn 35. Course, he has his own cute kid now and seems to understand the phrase, "payback is a bitch."

TO: Stephen Green & Nate
RE: Kidz

It doesn't stop until around age 4. But you have to teach them well and early to behave properly in public.

Otherwise, you'll end up with the sort of screaming brats we've all encountered in the grocery stores.

Enjoy,

Chuck(le)

Ahh, Paulina Porizkova. Used to have a calendar of her in my cubicle at the old college newspaper.

And then she had to go marry that Ric Ocasik dude. WTF?

The first time I ever picked up my (insufferably cute) oldest nephew, he immediately squinched up his face and unloaded approximately 45 pounds of baby crap into his diaper, which was, of course, immediately above my hand.

Pretty much set the tone for our relationship right there...

Just wait 'til he starts solid foods. Of course, they become increasingly entertaining and cute as they become increasingly disgusting.

Hey, if she's willing to let one fly like that in front of a date, what else'll she do??

Porizkova...she always makes me think of Phoebe Cates.

Just remember, that while he may literally crap on you today, it's without malice. When he's a teenager, he'll crap on you figuratively but quite deliberately.

Fortunately, most of them outgrow it by the time they're 25. You only have 24 1/2 years to go.

TO: Will Collier
RE: Heh...

"...he immediately squinched up his face and unloaded approximately 45 pounds of baby crap into his diaper..." -- Will Collier

Were you ever, even in a past-life experience, a Marine Corps Drill Instructor?

The first glance evidence is somewhat 'interesting'.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

You think they're bad now? Wait'll he starts teething. Good lord'n'butter! (with apoligies to Berkeley Breathed) Someone nearby will ask about Grey Poupon...

Just remember that the weight rating on the diaper is the size of the child, not the "load" capacity.

If you haven't had to do the Mr. Mom Gas Mask routine yet, the day will come. As mentioned above solid foods will do almost as well as a can of Hormel.

Enjoy.
(They do grow older quickly--they do not necessarily mature at the same rate, however.)

Ahhh! Isn't it adorable! Cute children - you smile at them on the train, but Lord help you if you have one at home.

Good luck. Can't wait to hear about the next one (if you're lucky a daughter - you need a boy and a girl to balance things out).

Nothing to do with the kids, just the farts.
Thought all would like this old joke.
Mike Daley

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their side and waving to the thousands of cheering Britons lining the streets, all was going well. This was indeed a glorious display of pageantry and dignity. Suddenly the scene was shattered when the right rear horse let rip the most horrendous, earth-shattering, eye-smarting blast of flatulence, and the coach immediately filled with noxious fumes.

Uncomfortable, but maintaining control, the two dignitaries did their best to ignore the whole incident, but then the Queen decided that was a ridiculous manner with which to handle a most embarrassing situation. She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I'm sure you understand that there are some things even a Queen cannot control."

George W., ever the Texas gentleman, replied, "Your Majesty, please don't give the matter another thought. You know, if you hadn't said something I would have assumed it was one of the horses."

The reason they are so cute is so that they survive age 3.

good parenting requires you to fart as much as possible around your kid(s), now, and kill the novelty. This is the only way they'll grow up able to sit through a date like you described & stay cool. As the mate of their dreams blows a ripper & the tablecloth flaps like a flag your child will say, privately, "yeah. I still feel the love. Thanks, Dad"

Stephen, it can get worse. The first time after getting home from the hospital we were giving our daughter a bath (almost the same age as your son), I held her, and she promptly crapped into my palm. Nice intro. :-)

Vilmos

Look at the bright side; we're the only primate that doesn't throw the stuff when we get angry. Well, literally, anyway.

Mheh. Welcome to the club.

Newborns are great for explosive fecal events. And then come the spit-up months. Have you ever lifted your baby over your head in joy only to have him spit-up, with the results landing in your mouth? I have. My baby is 14 years old now, and that story has always cracked him up. It's all good—treasure every second.

I have always prefered the "take the poo out of the potty seat and crawl into the living room with it in one hand to see who is visiting with Mommy."

Though I admit my explosive poo event was memorable as well. I got it square in the chest while changing a diaper. The happy part of that story was that my husband had just walked into the room so he got to witness it.

Some things don't take the passage of time to get funny. ;-)

The fondest memory of my 2 children's toddlerhoods is the time I went to the store and did NOT buy diapers, because they were both finally potty-trained. How my mother went through about a decade of non-disposable diapers with me and my 5 siblings, without significant insanity, is a mystery to me.