This is so wrong in so many ways:
A clerk at a GetGo station made a horrifying discovery last night after a man walked into the minimart and asked her to heat something wrapped in a paper towel in the store's microwave.
When the item in the microwave gave off an unusual odor, the clerk opened the over door, unwrapped the paper and found what appeared to be a severed human penis, according to KDKA-TV.
The clerk immediately called police, but the man who handed the item to the clerk fled from the store on Fifth Avenue, KDKA reported.
McKeesport police declined comment last night.
The report says the object only "appeared" to be a penis, so this could just be a cock & bull story.
TO: Stephen Green
RE: Put the Drink Down!
"The report says the object only "appeared" to be a penis, so this could just be a cock & bull story." -- Stephen Green
You're obviously over your limit.
Regards,
(Up)Chuck(le)
Consider the obligatory hot dog/tube steak joke as having been made.
"The report says the object only "appeared" to be a penis, so this could just be a cock & bull story."
You're going to hell for that.
The store where this took place is very close to where I live, and knowing the way the local TV news stations operate, this will probably be a headline item for at least the next week or so. Hell, the Super Bowl celebrations are still above-the-fold.
The police have now determined that the "penis" was a fake filled with urine that a man and woman were going to use to try to pass a drug test. They wanted it heated so that it would be body temperature when the test was taken. The two people involved have now come forward to McKeesport police and admitted to the "hoax".
Customers of the store, however, agreed that it still looked more appetizing than the jar of pickled eggs near the cash register.
So no one went off half cocked?
Urine trouble for that one.
Its a textbook "this is your brain on drugs" story.
http://kdka.com/local/local_story_055114857.html
Is the thread petering out yet?
And, was the musak machine in the background playing that Robert Palmer song:
Might as well face it
You're a BIG DICK for love!
The man and woman Matt updated with appear to be facing joint and severed liability for their hoax.
You know, whether it was a real penis or a prosthesis filled with urine, you still have to throw out that microwave.
Sarge6:
Reading all the bad puns, I maintained well until I came across your "joint and severed." Now I've gotta wipe the splattered wine from my monitor!
Sometimes what appears to be a penis filled with urine to pass a drug test is just something that looks like a penis filled with urine to pass a drug test.
-S. Freud
TO: JG
RE: Actually....
"So no one went off half cocked?" -- JG
...I think they did go off half-cooked.
Regards,
Chuck(le)
If it was a 7/11, they'll put it on sale for $35.98.
Geez, I went to one two weeks ago for the first time in about 10 years and the prices are just ridiculous.
