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The Offensive Offensive
Posted by Stephen Green · 5 February 2006
-Sun Tzu
I never wanted this Terror War to escalate into Samuel Huntington's "clash of civilizations." The way I figured it, going into Iraq was our one best chance to give someplace in the Arab World their one best chance to produce a civil society. And I mean "civil society" in a Western way. I mean it with an almost-jingoist, Anglospherical fervor. I mean, they need to learn to fight words with words and not with firebombs. I didn't expect results overnight, but it's obvious that we (and they) have a long, long way to go. If the Arab World's only effective means of fighting us is to threaten our authors and cartoonists, then it's obvious that we're already in a culture war. They can't win a stand-up fight with our military, but they'll for sure shoot back at our stand-up comics. They want a culture war? Fine. Let's give them one. Forget the "Revolution in Military Affairs," and "4GW," and "AirLand Battle" and all those other Pentagon catchphrases. We're good at that stuff, sure. All those fancy doctrines and expensive weapons have helped us win some fine, conventional wars. But we're even better at waging culture wars. That's because we've got more practice. If you have some free time some weekday afternoon, take a look at what goes on outside a Planned Parenthood clinic when Operation Rescue is there. Hollywood hangs left, talk radio tilts right, and each is expert at making the other look bad. Remember the civil rights movement? Remember the Republican Revolution (even if the Republicans don't)? Left and right, Americans know how to wage a culture war. It seems we're in one. And as in any war, we can't afford to remain passive. Sun Tzu wrote that when your enemy is angry, annoy him. Is there any doubt the Arab Street is at long last really angry? Then it's time for us to wage an Offensive Offensive. If they're angry, let's really piss them off. Let's show the Arab Street that in a war between our attitude and theirs, we're the Fonz and they're Ralph. "Piss Christ?" That's nothing we can crap Mohammed if we want to. With a little CGI help, our porn industry could churn out some man-on-man action in Mecca. NBC could turn the writing staff of "Will & Grace" loose on the Hamas homophobes. Maybe Broadway could give them "The Clitorectomy Monologues." Most readers here will think I'm dreaming the International Left would never join in Bushitler's illegal war. Maybe you're correct. Maybe they're too deep into identity politics to ever come around. Me, I'm not so certain. Hollywood has always been far to the left of American culture and politics, even when FDR was president, and yet they usually (eventually) came around. For every three or four Easy Riders, Hollywood gave us at least one Rambo. Sure, that's still a lot more left-wing movies than right but it only takes one Sylvester Stallone to kick the tar out of five Peter Fondas. You might not want to admit this, but Hollywood is powerful enough to take on the Arab Street, even with both hands tied behind its back and a lame left leg. Despite all my earlier doubts, there will come a time when the International Left will have to choose sides. Already, it's happening in Holland. Denmark will be next, perhaps followed by Norway. Can California be that far behind? Threatening Salmon Rushdie didn't get Hollywood on board, because they don't read books. Forcing some Danish cartoonists into hiding won't be much help, either. But someday, maybe soon, Hollywood will do something which they think is a positive - and suddenly Steven Soderbergh or someone will be camped out at Dick Cheney's Undisclosed Location. When that day comes, we'll gain a new ally. The Bloggy Right has been fighting the good fight for four years now. But if this really is a civilizational war, then we're going to need more allies. We need professional help in the effort to teach the Arab World that firebombs and fatwas are no match for free speech. And, like it or not, we need TV and movies and cable to help us get our message across. Our message comes down to this: They're just comics, you bullying bastards. Grow up.
Comments
A commenter (Amish) at Ace of Spades HQ pointed out this post from the Daily Kos (yes, the Daily Kos). The article claims that the Saudis were responsible for fanning the flames of outrage to deflect criticism of their botched Haji hosting. Interesting, if true. Posted by: geoff at February 5, 2006 09:21 PMTO: Stephen Green ...do you expect from a bunch of people who, when someone says, "Your mother wears combat boots," or something similiarly insulting, come boiling out of their holes and charge main battle tanks with their pick-up trucks? That's what happened in the push into Baghdad. They just go ape-shit which, when you think about their distain of 'apes', is rather ironic. Then we just shoot them to pieces. RE: Speaking of Famous General's Quotes I'll cite Nathan Bedford Forrest, "Keep up the scear!" Let's keep up the fire with our humorous renderings of their pathetic world and then they'll act all the more 'irrate'. Eventually, only the most deluded people in the West will sympathize with them. I just hope the vast majority of US wake up before someone nukes one of our cities. If THAT happens, it'll become a Hobbsian world. One sure think....appeasement is NOT the answer. So, if we can't appease them, we may as well 'engage' them. And I mean that in the most pro-active manner...including the down-right rude. Regards, Chuck(le) Posted by: Chuck Pelto at February 5, 2006 09:31 PMHollywood I remember the way Hollywood responded to the 91 riots, because I was there. All those Rainbow-ribbon wearing progressives were squatting in their mansions, some of them shooting wildly into their own gardens, others ordering their private cops to fire on any unidentified cars, absolutely convinced the brown welfare hordes were gonna come charging straight up Benedict Canyon and Stone Canyon Road and pull them screaming from under their beds... You think they'll raise a peep against angry Muslims? Posted by: richard mcenroe at February 5, 2006 09:42 PMOh, and I'm skeptical of the Kos post (duh)...the Saudis screw up the Haji hosting and hundreds die every year. Why would this year be any different? Posted by: richard mcenroe at February 5, 2006 09:44 PMOur greatest weakness in all this comes from the people who sneer at Christianity or even a belief in the spiritual basis of our existence by any American. It is diagnostic of the current crisis in the West that those sneering bastards are precisely the same ones who fawn on the hostile fundamentalists of ANY culture other than their own. J. Swift's image of Gulliver bound by the Lilliputians seems apt. Our own forebearance puts us at risk. Posted by: Madfiddler at February 5, 2006 09:55 PMThanks for the link, Steve. This comment by Tigerhawk implies that the culture war is really going to be between the advocates of identity politics (of which Islamism is a subset) vs. advocates of equality under the law: The real reason the left is quiet is that this crisis is a lance at the heart of modern identity politics. It has exposed the stupidity of hate crimes legislation, and made us all aware that our devotion to "tolerance" -- the true god of the Western lefty -- cannot be reconciled with an allegedly victimized group that is itself intolerant. The only solution is surrender, and the left does not want to admit that. So it pretends the story isn't happening. We'll let them know when its over. (If Kos is at least noticing the story, that's heartening.) Posted by: Yehudit at February 5, 2006 10:14 PM PS I don't know why MT is being weird, but here's the correct URL: > UPDATE: Even more from "Rossputin." It is even better in Hungarian. Let's separate Rossputin to two parts: "Ross" and "Putin". "Ross", if pronounced in English, sounds almost exactly like the word "rossz" in Hungarian. And what does "rossz" mean? It meand "bad". So if a Hungarian pronounces "rossputin", then the English equivalent would be "badputin". Vilmos Excellent essay. About the only thing I'd say it was missing would be a Theo Van Gogh reference, perhaps in a "Left's lost opportunity to wake up" vein. J. (an editor at heart) Posted by: Jay Tea at February 6, 2006 01:37 AMIf a major Hollywood studio would do "The Satanic Verses"... THEN I'd be impressed. Hollywood has long congratulated itself for it's bravery in taking cheap shots at sacred cows that were turned into burgers decades ago. I'd like to see them take a shot at one that's still walking around. Posted by: Rick at February 6, 2006 11:50 AMHello Mr. Green. Enjoyed your post, although I think labeling Rambo as a right wing movie is somewhat off base. It has been forever since I saw it and I am probably wrong, but, I remember Rambo being depicted as damaged by his experiences in Nam and somewhat shat upon by "the Man". All the protaganists were angry, shallow authority figures or gun-lovin Bubbas Again, probably wrong, but, while the main character was aggressive, patriotic, and had a thing for weaponry, I remember the over all message as being one lefty could "vibe with". Posted by: geofferygellineck at February 6, 2006 11:53 AMI say let's start a big relocation project where we assemble all the nutcase Muslim fundamentalists and their faux-Christian American counterparts and quarantine them on a remote island where they can scratch each others' eyes out. Posted by: elmo at February 6, 2006 11:58 AM"I mean, they need to learn to fight words with words and not with firebombs." Bwahahaha. You're kidding, right? This is sarcasm? I'd advise your president to use words instead of bombs but every time the man speaks he utters the most inane shit imagineable. I'm sure the Arabs (as you refer to them, lumping everyone into the terrorist pot) will appreciate the likes of your bombing invasive ass calling them big babies, and your paternalistic vision of democracy for them. Interesting democracy you have there...with a president illegally spying and bringing down the constitution bit by bit. God I'm so SICK of ASS America as is most of the world. Posted by: Lesley at February 6, 2006 12:39 PM"Eek eek eek! Bushitler! Illegal war! U.S. bomb and we wan' go home!" Nice job cramming so many inane tropes into such a small space, Lesley. I hope you feel better now. Posted by: Brian Tiemann at February 6, 2006 01:08 PMIs this the only war you'll enlist for, Steve? Posted by: UnfrozenCavemanLawyer at February 6, 2006 01:31 PM*clapclapclapclapclapclapclap* Thank goodness you pulled that Chickenhawk jibe out of your Utility Belt. You almost got caught considering another point of view! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Posted by: andrew at February 6, 2006 02:57 PM"God I'm so SICK of ASS America as is most of the world." I hear Damascus is pretty this time of year, as long as you steer clear of the Danish embassy. Why don't you take a visit and see if you like it better there? Posted by: File Closer at February 6, 2006 04:14 PM"NBC could turn the writing staff of "Will & Grace" loose on the Hamas homophobes." Wait -- are we trying to piss off fundamentalism Muslims or fundamentalist Christians? Aside from the Hamas part, it's mighty tough to tell... Posted by: scarshapedstar at February 6, 2006 06:07 PM"I hear Damascus is pretty this time of year, as long as you steer clear of the Danish embassy" Would it be ok if we just stayed where we were? it's better than Damascus and sh*tloads better than the USA. Posted by: sonic at February 6, 2006 06:14 PMThis choice of words: ="going into Iraq "= speaks volumes in relation to the yawning gulf between how americans see themselves and how the rest of the world sees the US. Posted by: armaniac at February 6, 2006 06:34 PMThe Fonz? "Salmon" Rushdie? You'd get your ass kicked in a culture war too. Posted by: Bushilter at February 6, 2006 07:53 PMAnd who could be the General Patton of the cultural war you speak of? Why a gentleman named Trey Parker, of course. I am DYING to know what is going on in Trey's mind at this moment. 'South Park' could blitz through this field like Patton through France, and the plans might be being laid as we speak. (SP is great at getting stuff on the air within two weeks or so of the events) Hell, *I* could write this South Park. Practically writes itself. 'Jesus and Pals' now has to compete with 'Mo and Pals' on another network. Even defer to the nutters and have Mohammed with a bag on his head the whole time, whatever? Cartman ripping on him? Be friggin' rich! Truth is, it WOULD take serious balls for the SP crew to do it. American soldiers in the field could die because of it. On the other hand, it would be shown all over, and people would flock to it, as well they should. It would be a high profile and unavoidable statement to palnet earth that we are FRE PEOPLE, God dammit, and are bloddy well going to stay that way! And SP already has the cred of mocking everybody but EVERYBODY under the sun, Christ not least by a long shot. Be sumpin' to see. Posted by: Andrew X at February 6, 2006 10:35 PMNice spelling Drew, ya putz! Posted by: Andrew X at February 6, 2006 10:40 PMFor all those comparing Christian fundamentalists to Muslims - Christians might protest those things they don't like - BUT - they aren't rioting in the streets, they aren't threatening to cut off peoples heads, they aren't murdering others, they aren't burning and attacking embassies. Grow up and stop using infantile comparisons. Posted by: Karen M at February 7, 2006 07:39 AMyep, they have the U.S. military do it for them Posted by: walter66 at February 7, 2006 09:00 AMFunny how only a year ago, the rightwingers were furious that the MSM and its Lefty cohorts had increased the threat to our men and women serving in Iraq because they had published or backed the publishing of Abu Ghraib photos/stories. Oh, how alarmed all the chickenhawks were that the left was stirring up the shit in Islamic countries, creating unrest and rebellion. Funny that. Posted by: pseudolus at February 7, 2006 10:31 AMPsuedo - It is indeed funny how the MSM is perfectly willing to "stir up trouble", including the kind of trouble that can get American troops killed, when it can reflect badly on the Bush Admin and the MSM gets to sit back and record it all, including the pretty pictures of stuff blowing up and elegantly poignant American flags on coffins. And as the magnificent Tim Blair has noted, when a perfectly legitimate story comes along for the MSM, one that can put THEM and THEIR reporters in the gunsights, and concievablt hold editors personally and physically responsible for what they report, all of a sudden their calculations of what they should be "courageously reporting" make a radical U-turn. Quite funny that, indeed. Don't think we all haven't noticed. Posted by: Andrew X at February 7, 2006 10:54 AM"They want a culture war? Fine. Let's give them one." Well, then, fine. Print up the cartoons on some T-shirts, travel to the Muslim countries of your choice, and have yourself filmed wearing them. Put me down for five sets of the VodkaPundit Memorial DVDs. Posted by: Grace Nearing at February 7, 2006 12:21 PM"And as the magnificent Tim Blair has noted, when a perfectly legitimate story comes along for the MSM, one that can put THEM and THEIR reporters in the gunsights"........you mean like the time when Knovak outed Valerie Plame? Posted by: walter66 at February 7, 2006 12:46 PM"If your enemy is angry, irritate him." "Let us taunt him. Perhaps he will become so cross, hell make a mistake." Great minds, etc... Posted by: ArtD0dger at February 7, 2006 08:24 PM |
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