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Too Good to Work
Posted by Stephen Green  ·  26 September 2005

John Dvorak has come up with the worst good idea ever. Or maybe it's the best bad idea. Read and decide for yourself:

Some years ago I was flabbergasted when Congress banned the use of laptops by U.S. representatives. The rules are more relaxed now, and computers are part of the day-to-day life of a legislator. But I think it's time for us to consider taking things to the 21st century by completely virtualizing Congress, letting the representatives and senators work from within their districts instead of living and working in Washington, D.C.

Things would work more effectively with teleconferencing, and the Congress folks wouldn't be so hounded by lobbyists in a corrupting environment. Lobbyists would have to travel to the districts.

Brilliant. Just brilliant. Better even than my idea a few years back to move our nation's capital to somewhere in western Kansas - and amend the Constitution to forbid Congress from convening during any month other than August, or have air conditioning.

Here's where Dvorak gets even smarter (or dumber, which we'll get to in a moment):

As things sit today, one suitcase nuke set off near the Capitol buildings would pretty much wipe out the federal government and kill all the representatives and senators at once. This would be a serious problem. Just look at the devastation a submegaton bomb caused in Hiroshima. Well, imagine D.C. being in that condition. Why does it remain a sitting duck?

Now let me tell you why it won't work.

Pretend for a moment that you are Rt. Hon. Congressperson Mylar H. Crawfish, representing the greater East Sphincter, Utah area. You get to spend most of your time in a city filled with people just like you. Some are elected officials, some work in the media, some are lobbyists, and some come from exotic foreign countries. And not only do they share your Washington-centric attitude – but, as a big player in Washington yourself, all those people revolve around you.

Now the yokels demand that you spend all your time at home. With them. Talking to the local media ("Bob"). Attending potluck dinners when it isn't even election season.

Of course, to effect such changes, it's going to take action on the part of – you. Are you, the Rt. Hon. M.H. Crawfish, really going to vote to disperse the nation's capital to the entire nation? Of course not. Hell, the yokels might not even like the idea, once they realize that you'd be home ten months out of the year instead of the current three.

Now we see why Dvorak's idea, no matter how sane and sensible, just won't work.

Comments

This better not get anywhere. I'd rather have Barbara Lee as far away from me as possible.

Posted by: Russell Wardlow at September 26, 2005 10:19 PM

But what would become of the capital press corps? The horror, the horror!

Posted by: Tim P at September 26, 2005 10:33 PM


Good instincts.

But I ask you to forget the social magnetism of central power for a minute and think of technology per se. The folks at Darpa are working on technology to make weapons controlled by thought only... those tiny little electrical brainwaves can now be read.

So how would you keep anything secret that needed to be transmitted from, say, Chicago to D.C.? I don't know much about technology, but I know there are tempested computers (and rooms) for secret projects and communications, and they exist for very good reason. Even Jimmy "Ah need attention at all costs" Carter signed onto recommendations that electronic voting systems be backed by paper records. Why? When it comes to electronic data, the smartest guy wins. And he may not work for the government.

Anyone who wants to broadcast senate business - by any means - cross country deserves sex with Dvorak. You can toss a coin to decide who is on top.

Seriously.

Posted by: Blake Rees at September 26, 2005 10:35 PM

I don't think it would work. It's the city council rule of government -- decisions are made by the people who show up to the meetings.

For a closely related point, do you think that, say, the Military Appropriations committee could maintain adequate oversight of a multibillion dollar program via teleconferencing? I don't -- I'd demand that trusted aides have physical access to relevant files and offices, and once I demanded that, I'd essentially have to live in Washington myself.

Posted by: Zach at September 26, 2005 11:38 PM

Does that mean they wouldn't get their per diem and free water? Just think of all the freebies/price cuts they would have to give up.

Haircuts
Lunches
Health Club
Banks (?) heh
Drivers/Cars

I'm sure there's more. They'd have to pay for their day to day living just like the rest of us. NEVER HAPPEN!

Posted by: Kathy at September 27, 2005 12:54 AM

Hasn't Bush has been doing for the past 5 years?

Posted by: Amani S. at September 27, 2005 04:07 AM

So how would you keep anything secret that needed to be transmitted from, say, Chicago to D.C.?

The same way you do it now- encryption. Google 'VPN' for more info.

Anyone who wants to broadcast senate business - by any means - cross country deserves sex with Dvorak.

Have you ever heard of C-SPAN? ;-)

Posted by: rosignol at September 27, 2005 05:56 AM

One-half of congress back home with the folks and the other one-half in DC schmoozing as usual - after say three months, switch groups.

Posted by: dittybopper at September 27, 2005 07:33 AM

Well, we're going to need to be able to do this in order to run our interstellar empire anyway. Might as well use the Congress as a pilot project to get the bugs worked out.

After the Holographic House and Senate is up and running we could then just pull the plug on the Congress all together and let the regional governors rule directly.

Posted by: Michael Puttre at September 27, 2005 09:31 AM

What cracks me up about this is the naive notion that this would reduce "hounding by lobbyists in a corrupting environment."

It would likely do the opposite; corruption works best when targeting individuals, not groups. Being able to work over politicians in their private office, outside the glare of Washington, for all it's faults, would be a boon to those attempting to buy favors.

Of course, this all assumes lobbying is a problem. When are people going to realize that lobbying IS democratic; it's how the voices of the electorate are concentrated. There's probably even a lobby for stupid computer journalists.

Posted by: Joe at September 27, 2005 11:35 AM

representing the greater East Sphincter, Utah area.

Ah! You've been to the Uintah Basin, I see.

Posted by: Anachronda at September 27, 2005 04:42 PM

Hey! I grew up in Wichita and live in Nebraska. I don't want those people anywhere near here.

Posted by: buzz at September 27, 2005 05:56 PM

Hell, I thought we elected Henry Waxman to get him OUT of town...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at September 27, 2005 06:14 PM


I'm in a bad mood tonight but my grandmother would swat my hand for being impolite, so I will dial it back in her honor:

1. Do you really believe that government spy agencies... even European ones... are seriously hampered by commercial encryption programs? By now even Somalia has probably back-doored enough personal pcs to crunch through it. There is simply too much processing power laying around, and government communications are worth the time and effort it takes to crack a serious encryption code. Your breathless description of your last blind date? Pretty safe, even if you choose your birth date as the encryption key.

2. And yes, I've heard of C-Span. Do you seriously believe that the meat of Congressional negotiating is actually done before the cameras? Is your mother's first name Cindy? Just checking.

I know, that wasn't quite polite. I apologize, grandma.

Posted by: Blake Rees at September 27, 2005 07:28 PM

1. Do you really believe that government spy agencies... even European ones... are seriously hampered by commercial encryption programs?

Yes.

I work at a datacenter. Had a customer stop by the other night. Nice guy, used to be an analytical mathematician for the NSA. While he worked on his server, we had a chat about the projections of how much computing power they thought they'd need, and how far off they were... So yeah, I think commercial encryption- at least, the public-key stuff- gives the government spy agencies headaches.

Just don't use anything developed in France.

Posted by: rosignol at September 27, 2005 09:25 PM

RE: rosignol reply

Oooh!
Distributed Intelligence =1
Cynical Snark =0
Crack-a-lacka-boom!
D.I. Winnah!

Posted by: adamthemadman at September 28, 2005 11:28 PM

We can't count on the guys in D.C. to spearhead this, since it would be making them MORE accountable. However, over half the states have ballot initiatives in their constitutions (or otherwise part of their legal fabric). Instead of waiting for Congress, what if several states started ballot initiatives to force their Washington elected representatives to spend (say-) six months per year in their state and available to the taxpayers/voters. And required their state legislatures to appropriate sufficient funds to furnish appropriate conferencing facilities?

You know, something revolutionary, say - taking back some control and enforcing accountability

Posted by: david at September 29, 2005 05:55 PM

This hasn't been thought through. Where's the virtual smoke-filled room?

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at September 30, 2005 10:45 PM



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