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Coventry
Posted by Stephen Green · 5 September 2005
What do we do with New Orleans? Here's an idea: Turn it over to the people who took it over. People do stupid things, and we encourage them. Farmers build homes on flood plains, because those are the places with the best soil. Businesses follow the farmers, and the suburbs follow the businesses. Next thing you know, some giant flood comes along and wipes out everybody. Getting flooded out wasn't the farmers' fault they went where the good farming was. It's not the businesses fault they served the farms. And everybody else was just going where the jobs were. Nevertheless, when the flood does come, all those flood-plain dwellers sure look like idiots to the rest of us. We moan and gripe and bitch and then we give them our tax dollars so they can go right back to living on the flood plains. Then a few years later a second flood comes along, and we really gripe at all those stupid people living where we think they shouldn't. But we bail them out (literally and otherwise) nonetheless. At this point, it would be fair of you to ask why we also rebuild for those rich homeowners in Malibu, when the mudslides do a little fast-acting erosion on their hillside manors. Granted, it's one thing to bail out some hardscrapple farmer who keeps us city folk from starving to death, but quite another thing to bail out Malibu Barbie and her feng shui chalet. Well, we do it because we're all Americans farmer and Barbie alike. Besides, it's worth the price any price to keep Californians right there where they are. As the resident of a state that's become thoroughly Californicated in the last five years, I know of what I speak. But New Orleans what we've seen there this last week is something new to us Americans. We've seen looting. We've seen riots. We've seen incivility. We've seen natural disasters. We've seen how government can screw things up, and we've seen how government tends to get to the scene too late, and with too little. However, I'm not sure we've ever seen all those things wrapped up into one soggy package before. And we've certainly never seen, in modern times, an entire major city removed from our map. We're a rich, generous country we can rebuild New Orleans, exactly as it was, if we want. Only we'd build it better, with higher levees and a fleet of amphibious school busses. Don't laugh too much: If we wanted to, we could do it. But do we want to? Do we want to rebuild a city best known for police corruption and topless Mardi Gras women, most of whom should really leave their tops the hell on? Before we answer that, let's make something clear: Hurricane Katrina is not the fault of any private New Orleans resident. The French founded the city as a means of controlling the flow of goods out of the Mississippi, and as a fort to protect their vast, vacant New World empire. New Orleans, in other words, is an accident of history. It's no fault of the residents there that this country purchased the city, and it's not our fault President Jefferson bought it. The fact that New Orleans grew so big and so prosperous despite its many geographical disadvantages is a testament to our country in general, and to the people of New Orleans specifically. But do we want to rebuild it? For that majority of New Orleaners who, like the majority of the rest of humanity, are decent and just yes, we should rebuild it. But do we want to rebuild it where it once stood? Maybe not. Maybe New New Orleans should be built on higher ground. Maybe it should be built upriver, or maybe slightly to the east or west somewhere not so vulnerable. There are problems beyond expense, of course. New Orleans was one of this country's logistical hubs for oil, natural gas and foodstuffs. There are docks and pipelines and refineries to be relocated, and centuries-old trade patterns to be rerouted. And we're also talking about telling people they could never go back to their homes. Think about that last line a moment, before we go back to being all glib and witty. Changing those things would take a lot more capital especially human capital than simply fixing things where they stand er, float. And yet doing so could ultimately prove cheaper that suffering a full-strength Category Five hurricane on a direct course for New Orleans. As bad as last week was, and as painful as it is for people down there to hear it: Things could have been a whole lot worse. So let us build a New New Orleans, and build it somewhere better. Let's just take care to build it somewhere where people can still find mudbugs and catfish and shrimp and crabs and all the other things that have made New Orleans cuisine a treat the whole world has enjoyed. But what do we do with Old New Orleans? Let's leave it to the looters. Leave it to the pond scum who shoot at rescue helicopters. Leave it to the brutes who have terrorized their cowering neighbors in the Superdome. Leave the wreckage of a once-great city to the people who can only wreck great cities. The decent people trapped in New Orleans? We'll rescue them. We'll pull them out and clean them up and build them their new city. How do we choose? We can start by visiting the Superdome. Ask the people there, "Who did this to you?" Look where the fingers point, and leave those people to the city they fouled. Don't dam the broken levees. Don't pump out the floodwaters. Don't send in the Red Cross, the National Guard, or the Marines. Build a wall, if we must. Un-crowd our prisons, and let the most violent offenders free in Old New Orleans. Do certain people really want a city without rules? A city without order? A city without justice? A city without civilization? Let them have those things. We'll give it to them, free. And when one or both of the Bush Twins gets trapped there while trying to buy cheap booze, we'll send Snake Plissken in to the rescue. Let them have it. The rest of us, that vast, decent majority of us, can build something newer and better. New New Orleans wouldn't be home not at first. You can build a house in a week. Building a home takes quite a bit longer. But at least for a while, New New Orleans would certainly be a decent place to live. NOTE: Fans of Robert Heinlein will get the headline to this post. Comments
Sounds good to me. Can we move SF down there to to practice their utopian concepts? All you need is love, right? Posted by: Sandy P at September 5, 2005 11:18 PMSandy, having lived there a couple years, I still have a soft spot in my heart for San Francisco. Posted by: Stephen Green at September 5, 2005 11:20 PMG'night and wonderful work as usual. Posted by: Sandy P at September 5, 2005 11:34 PM. . . a city best known for police corruption and topless Mardi Gras women . . . With all due respect, such is only true for the same ignorant masses who fancy London as that place where the Queen lives and the guards wear funny hats. Posted by: Irate Savant at September 5, 2005 11:49 PMI've always had a fantasy of being able to let the people who'd destroy the good things about this country have their way in some little way-off piece of nowhere. (Maybe that's one too many readings of Atlas Shrugged?) I think New New Orleans is a great idea. Galveston was rebuilt a fair amount higher after the hurricane of 1900. Why not NO? Posted by: Saney at September 5, 2005 11:55 PMYes, indeed... Fans of RAH do get that reference. Hm. It's been a while since I've read it; I must go back and refresh my memory. And, actually, I rather *like* the idea for Old New Orleans. If that's what they want, hey! it's a free country. Let 'em have it so long as they can't hurt those who prefer civilization. Good post, Stephen! -- R'cat Posted by: Romeocat at September 6, 2005 06:38 AMI hate to be making negative comments on such a long and well written post as this, and maybe this intended as allegorical and I'm just not seeing it, but this makes about as much sense as Dean Esmay's crazy AIDs conspiracies. I mean, "Let's leave one of our major cities a diseased, polluted cesspole filled with so many criminals that even the people trying to repair the bridges out can't go in without a military escort!" "feng shui chalet" I have always coveted(in the literal Biblical sense) your writing ability. Great stuff. Posted by: cadmus at September 6, 2005 07:49 AMWill you feel the same way when Las Vegas and Phoenix run out of water or when the New Madrid fault rips through the midwest? Posted by: beloml at September 6, 2005 08:03 AMI was in Vegas last year and asked the cabbie, he said don't believe everything you read. Canada's got water, Alberta might want to secede, we can negotiate. Posted by: Sandy P at September 6, 2005 09:19 AMGalveston was also rebuilt with a lot of tall, pier-and-beam houses. As for Californication, you ain't seen nothing 'til you've lived in Oregon. Funniest conversation ever, had with a girl in my dorm Freshman year at UO (she was from Los Angeles): Claire: Tim, when does it stop raining? Me: Well, let's see, it's late October, so sometime around June probably. Well, it'll be June or so when it quits in Portland, but we're farther south here, so I'm gonna wager just about May. Claire: REALLY?!?!?! Me: Yes. Claire: Oh, God.... I couldn't stop laughing, man that was funny. Posted by: Timothy at September 6, 2005 09:33 AMFor a little perspective in considering the rebuilding of New Orleans, I offer a reminder that the current hurricane season is still very much with us. Many people are tending to talk as if Katrina was a once in 100 years event, forgetting that hurricanes even yet this year and in the near term won't necessarily submit nicely to expectations unwisely based on misused statistics. I have family that live precisely at the point where 3 hurricanes' paths crossed in central Fla. last year. They don't place a lot of faith in the law of averages when it comes to weather phenomena. I consider as willful idiots those who are suggesting the human spirit must triumph by restoring New Orleans to its previous state in the same location. Posted by: Levans at September 6, 2005 09:40 AMOh sure, it sounds like a good idea until the President's plane crashes there and you have to send in some guy named Snake to get him out... Seriously, though. It would cost billions to relocate or recreate New Orleans at another location. Much cheaper to upgrade the levees and the pumping system, and keep a small fleet of sinkable barges on the Mississippi and Lake Ponchartrain to serve as mobile drain plugs to deal with any future breaches. Of course, if individual neighborhoods cannot be salvaged and need to be bulldozed, they should consider adding landfill to raise the land level. Or heck, don't bulldoze it at all and just create an "underground New Orleans" tourist attraction, like we did here in Seattle. Posted by: HT at September 6, 2005 10:22 AMI've got to admit, I find all this talk about whether to rebuild or not a bit presumptuous. What, for example, do we do with the magnificent old architecture of the French Quarter, that is so steeped in history and is still relatively dry and largely intact? Do we bulldoze it? Move it all 100 miles upriver? Leave it to ruins? None of those options seem particularly tenable to me. I know the question of whether or not to rebuild must be asked, but it does beg the question: what are the credible alternatives? Posted by: Cynical Nation at September 6, 2005 10:56 AMSteve, my best friend is still trapped there. My next best friend lives (lived) in a place called Gautier. Right now, he's sitting in front of the remains of his parents' house waiting on the FEMA guy. His parents are in a shelter in Houston. About half the people I know just lost everything they own, and it looks like I'm about to have a few new roommates for the indefinite future. These are just the people I can find. Can you lay off the snark for a while longer? I already know how clever you are. As to rebuilding, here's why. Here's how. Posted by: Kiril (aka Dave from CDS) at September 6, 2005 11:22 AMyea, what you said. Only consider new NO, suspended over the top of old NO. Yea- with a glass bottom, so new NO can look onto old NO and feel all warm and fuzzy. In fact it could be the new worlds amusmentpark- Hey, get the room above bourbon street I hear they'll be burning a witch tonite-yea I can see it now. Posted by: pete at September 6, 2005 01:18 PMSpeaking as a man who has had the (mis?)fortune of relationships with not one, but two women who once looked good topless in New Orleans...all I can say is keep the lights in the south low, gravity and daylight seldom mix well. Cynical Nation - The French Quarter is actually above sea level. Because of that it suffered minimal damage compared to the rest of the city, and will be much less vulnerable to future floods. Even if the 80% of the city which is now underwater is abandoned and rebuilt elsewhere, that wouldn't necessarily mean that the French Quarter couldn't survive on its own as part of a much smaller city. Posted by: Frank IBC at September 6, 2005 02:43 PMThe integration of the former New Orleans resident throughout the country is already starting to happen. Other than an industrial/port base with a relatively small support population, there are no reasons to rebuild...at least not for a major residential city. Nostalgia is great and creates a sense of community. But logic is a prerequisite to civilization. I'm maintaining a now rather extensive blog list of responsible bloggers asking the tough questions regarding the rebuilding of New Orleans at Discussions on alternatives to rebuilding New Orleans. I've added this post to the list. Posted by: Porkopolis at September 6, 2005 03:00 PMMy barely thought-out idea is this: Decide what must be rebuilt in old New Orleans: 1. Tourist stuff Decide what can be moved to new New Orleans: 1. Homes Provide free high speed high capacity transit between the two. Every night most everyone goes home to sleep in new New Orleans. If a hurricane is predicted, everyone stays home on high ground. Posted by: John Davies at September 6, 2005 03:15 PMI have heard this BEFORE. Posted by: Steel Turman at September 6, 2005 05:23 PMA profoundly stupid post, worthy of David Brooks. When New Orleans was built, it was above sea level. Centuries later, the Army Corps of Engineers moved the friggin' Mississippi river, which led to the end of annual flooding and the loss of thousands of square miles of wetlands, which until then had protected the city. They built levees, which the gov't inadequately funded despite decades of dire predictions, the most recent of which were publicized nationally within the last few years. To make matters worse, Bush cut levee-construction and flood-control funding to the bone (who knows, by then it may have been too late). You should be aware, having lived there for a couple of years, that the city is surrounded by other municipalities? Exactly where would they go? What would we do with the French Quarter, the destination of most of our tourists, turn it over to Disney as an adult theme park ("French Quarter Land")? I understand you like being glib and that you feel a little bad about being glib when it comes to this tragedy, but you're talking about my home, which my forebears significantly helped build, and frankly, I don't want your money to rebuild it. It would dishonor New Orleans. Posted by: Rob at September 6, 2005 05:53 PMHow far along are the futuristic city planners? Once we finish the sad duty of saving who and what we can save, let's think about rebuilding NO as a city like NO other city in the world. I'd be left cold by the idea of recreating what has been lost where it was lost; but I'd be hot to trot to create something entirely new, to ease us all into the future. Posted by: -Ed. at September 6, 2005 08:14 PMAll this talk about rebuilding NOLA elsewhere is just that - talk. It. Ain't. Gonna. Happen. That said, what is rebuilt in NOLA may look the same, in a couple of years may even smell the same, but the character, the flavor, of the city is lost, because there will not be the level of Guvmintal ineptitude allowed to recur. Furthermore, the Metro NOLA area will probably end up depopulated by approximately 10% to 20% - most of that depopulation consisting of families who have spent five and six generations in the Projects and are now being exposed to something new and different in Houston or Dallas or San Antonio or Atlanta or Jacksonville, and finding out that life in the Projects ain't all that after all. NOLA will end up "rebuilt" in the same place, but it will not be the NOLA we knew and regretted never truly seeing. Posted by: JD at September 6, 2005 08:15 PM-Ed said: "I'd be left cold by the idea of recreating what has been lost where it was lost; but I'd be hot to trot to create something entirely new, to ease us all into the future." Well, Ed, New Orleanians are about the last people who would want to have their beautiful Big Easy turned into Spacely Sprocket's new corporate headquarters. Laissez les Monorail rouler? I don't think so. If New Orleans is to be rebuilt at all, it must...must...be rebuilt in a way that in a way that allows the city to retain all of the elements that give...gave, sorry...gave New Orleans it's unique character. Warts and all. As for the future, I think we're all gonna have to ease into that old fashioned way. One mistake at a time. Posted by: charlie eklund at September 6, 2005 08:31 PMSeriously, though. It would cost billions to relocate or recreate New Orleans at another location.
We're going to be spending billions either way, and heaven knows it won't be coming from the Louisiana state government. Speaking as someone who lives within a mile of saltwater, if it's my tax money that's going to be paying for it, I would prefer that what is rebuilt not be below sea level.
There might be a bit less tit-flashing, but from what I've seen, that wouldn't be much of a loss.
Cheap shot at the Bush twins, Stephen--and not funny in the least. Hate the father if you will, but his daughters deserve as much privacy as you would wish for your own children. > To make matters worse, Bush cut levee-construction and flood-control funding to the bone (who knows, by then it may have been too late). "Cut" suggests that Bush spent less than Clinton, which is wrong. In this universe, every govt department has a wishlist. Not getting that wishlist completely funded isn't a cut. Was the "cut" error due to ignorance or malice? And, if I'm not mistaken, Congress appropriates the funds. That old "power of the purse" thing I heard about back in twelfth grade government class. Anyhow, the odds were stacked against New Orleans. She was due to get slammed and it could have been worse - a levee could have given out during the storm. Local disaster planning appeared to consist of hoping it wouldn't occur on the current incumbent's watch. Security and polcing went with the levee making rescue dangerous. The failure cascaded until the feds were finally able to mobilize the resources and personnel into the area to do a mass evacuation. "A bloody awful mess" pretty much sums it up. Posted by: Mikey at September 7, 2005 08:05 AMRob: "you're talking about my home, which my forebears significantly helped build, and frankly, I don't want your money to rebuild it. It would dishonor New Orleans." Hey, I think I recognize that rhetorical device. It's what a guy tells you right before he accepts thuh largest check y'all have evuh written. Posted by: syzygy at September 7, 2005 10:18 AM"frankly, I don't want your money to rebuild it. It would dishonor New Orleans." Good! I'll be waiting for my refund. Posted by: Hogarth at September 8, 2005 12:18 PMFrom the way some in the liberal camp were holoring you would think New Orleans was looking like London after the blitz but like tjhat english city we will rebuild it where it was and rebuild it even better Posted by: snowy egret at September 11, 2005 09:22 AM |
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