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Without a Dowd
Posted by Stephen Green  ·  20 July 2005

Richard Cohen has, I guess, taken the Maureen Dowd Method Seminar. In it, columnists learn from The Mistress Herself how to take two icky things at random, and paste a column together around them. Read and learn how it's done:

Another hanging chad has dropped. His name is John G. Roberts Jr., and he undoubtedly will turn out to be opposed to abortion rights, affirmative action, an expansive view of federal powers and a reading of the Constitution that takes a properly suspicious view of the state's embrace of religion. In these and other matters -- the death penalty, for instance -- he is expected to substantially reflect the views of George W. Bush, the man who nominated him to the Supreme Court, because that was what the election of 2000 and its sequel were all about. You hang enough chads, and you get to change the Supreme Court.

I'm not going to fisk Cohen, but one little bitty teensy tiny little detail does need pointing out. The results of the 2000 election became moot on November 7, 2004. In the four year prior, Bush - hanging chads or not - didn't appoint a single Supreme Court justice. The Democrats had a chance to unseat Bush in 2004, but failed - and without a single dangling chad.

However, Cohen is using the Dowd Method. Hanging chads were icky. John Roberts (or Robert Johns or whatever) is icky. Therefore, hanging chads and Robert Johns (or John Roberts) must be somehow related.

Wouldn't Cohen have been smarter to blame it all on Ohio, which decided the most recent election?

Smarter? Sure. But far less Dowdy.

Comments

Unless I'm about to board a plane I just can't bring myself to buy a newspaper anymore, and "writers" like Cohen and Dowd are a good part of the reason. That people receive somewhat significant remuneration to display the dreck that is a result of such a lazy intellect is an insult to money.

Posted by: Will Allen at July 20, 2005 11:32 PM

I'll read papers in Starbucks over coffee, but otherwise, I don't even line my pets' litterboxes with them.

Posted by: elgato at July 21, 2005 12:42 AM

Good post Mr. Green.

When Dowd and friends come down off their ozone fed high after they win their next election for PotUS they are going to be experiencing that same sickening feeling the moderate and non rabid GOP felt when they realized that Bush was going to get to pay the piper for the moonbat press' delusions that Beijing billy got a "bad deal" from the GOP.

If there were not a war on, I would enjoy the endless tit-for-tat, but simply put we have bigger fish to fry right now.

Roberts is "good enough" for this conservative, I think his defense of Military Tribunals was well thought out, cited, and argued.

Posted by: sven10077 at July 21, 2005 12:49 AM

Progressives live in thepast. Some like : Reid, Boxer, Pelosi and Teddy are still living in 1929. That is their major problem. Not their only one.

Posted by: Rod Stanton at July 21, 2005 05:49 AM

Oddly, Cohen does a pretty good job when he writes about international affairs (he has a weekly column at the IHT which usually makes for an interesting read).

Posted by: Pigilito at July 21, 2005 07:04 AM

There's hope in sight for travellers. Wireless internet connections on airplanes and hopefully in airline terminals are in our near future.

Posted by: erp at July 21, 2005 08:12 AM

The results of the 2000 election became moot on November 7, 2004.

Well, aren't you assuming that Bush would have been renominated in 2004 and then beaten President Gore in the election? Hard to see him being renominated after losing in 2000.

Posted by: Ugh at July 21, 2005 01:21 PM

Ugh, Ugh, Ugh....(wow that reads like a transcript of a moonbat campaign worker)

The American people had a chance to "unelect George Bush" if they were either unhappy with his leadership or genuine in feeling he was 'selected not elected'. I remember being solemnly informed while watching the inaugural that Bush would pay for the "Supreme Court travesty" by democrat pundits. Boy, that sure worked out for you all didn't it.

Bush won Florida in every recount that did not use overvotes. Overvotes are not legal votes, and there is no justification for "divining voter intent". Put down the bong, take off the Gore/Liberman sweatshirt, and "moveon.org" it is a half decade later. Had the decision gone the other way on the part of SCotUS even rabids like me would have let the GWoT sort of bypass "Chad Rage".

Posted by: sven10077 at July 21, 2005 01:38 PM

To give Cohen a little credit, he does come up with a concluding paragraph to his column that Dowd never would have written:

Shortly after Associate Justice Sandra Day O'Connor tendered her resignation, I spoke to an important Democratic senator who confided that Bush was in a trap. I tried real hard to follow his logic, but it eluded me. It seems to me that it is the Democratic Party that has a problem. It can either come to terms with reality or appear petulant and in the grip of special interests, particularly the pro-choice lobby. In effect, the fate of this nominee was settled back in the year 2000 when Florida, for better or for worse, squinted hard and pronounced Bush its winner. The chads have spoken.

I find usually one out of every four or five columns Richard writes breaks away from the usual liberal doctrinaire, which at least makes him interesting to read. In this case, I guess it's one out of every 4-5 paragraphs that makes sense.

Posted by: John at July 21, 2005 02:45 PM

This isn't quite as bad as the people who say all GOP victories are permanently tainted by Nixon's "Southern Strategy" in 1968, but it's in the same vein.

Clinton, with 43% of the popular vote, put two Justices on the Court before his party even faced an intervening Congressional election (in which they were routed). I'd check to see what Cohen wrote then, but I doubt it would be enlightening.

Posted by: Crank at July 21, 2005 03:07 PM

Crap. My earlier post about Cohen being a good writer on international affairs was dead wrong.

I was thinking of Roger Cohen, not Richard, who is something of a disaster.

Posted by: Pigilito at July 22, 2005 12:01 AM

Okay, Cohen may be the mental food equivalent of a Cheeto, but he does remind me of Mrs. Tamlin's dog, which I seem to remember as a cross between an Affenpinscher and a Norwich Terrier. It did bark a lot, and widdled itself when excited but was an acceptable dog for all that.

Posted by: pinky at July 22, 2005 09:14 AM



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