Vodkapundit - Carefree Days of Summer

Carefree Days of Summer

Posted by Stephen Green · 7 June 2005

"Mucinex" comes from the Latin for "I coughed up that?"

Sunday's head cold spent maybe 24 hours in my head, then apparently lost its lease and had to move down to my chest. It's taken up a happy residence there.

Last year, when Melissa had this thing, it got so bad that I went to the pharmacy in a state of near-panic. Correction: Near-sleeplessness, with maybe a little panic thrown in that neither of us would ever sleep again. Her coughing got so bad that, even with her in the guest room across the hall, both of us were up all night.

I grabbed the pharmacist by the sleeve and told him, "I need the best expectorant/cough suppressant you can give me over the counter."

"You need Mucinex."

It's an ugly name, sure. It sounds like some piece of extra ugly Soviet military gear. "Sergeant, get your men and take that hill!" "But sir, they have a Mucinex up there!" On the other hand, the stuff works. After she took the stuff, Melissa and I both slept through the night – and in the same bed, too.

So when I started coughing yesterday, I took one, too. Then I took a nap, Nazi-style. As in, "Ve haff vays of making you nap!" Mucinex puts you down, and hard. When I woke up, I felt as though I would never, ever cough again. No, not even if evil RJ Reynolds executives forced me to smoke an entire pack of Camels every hour for a month.

Except then I did finally cough – and an entire raw chicken breast flew out of my mouth.

This stuff works, in other words. I took today's dose about ten minutes ago. I'll asleep on the sofa in another twenty.

Hopefully, I'll be awake in time to cook dinner. One thing's for sure: We won't be having chicken.

Comments

You really are a funny guy.

Posted by: scottorrell at June 7, 2005 10:51 AM

when i had the flew a couple of months ago, mucinex didn't seem to help at all. nothing possibly could've. i don't know if it was the flu, or the mixture of meds i was taking, but the mere smell or taste of the mucinex had me gagging bad. just opening the bottle was torture.

Posted by: smill at June 7, 2005 10:53 AM

too much information... but thanks for the advice about meds...

Posted by: jtb-in-texas at June 7, 2005 11:01 AM

It sounds like the Euro breakfast cereal "muselix". Yet another horrid name.

Posted by: rbj at June 7, 2005 11:04 AM

"Except then I did finally cough – and an entire raw chicken breast flew out of my mouth."

Dude, thanks for giving me a good reason to skip lunch.

Hope you both feel better soon.

Posted by: Garrett at June 7, 2005 11:20 AM

Argh! Did NOT need the visual, Stephen. Thanks!

Posted by: peggy at June 7, 2005 12:16 PM

Two shots of Nyquil and a beer do it for me, but then I don't get the flu that often. At least the name's easy to remember: Mucinex, Mucinex, Mucinex...

Posted by: joe shropshire at June 7, 2005 12:31 PM

And the stuff supposedly increases sperm mobility too.

Not that you need to worry about that right now….

Posted by: jmaster at June 7, 2005 12:50 PM

Ahhh. Nothing like a good oyster or two for a quick snack.
A kack snack.
Hey, that rhymes!

Ok. I'll shut up now. Bye.

Posted by: Dave S. at June 7, 2005 01:46 PM

Try brandy and OJ some time, mixed in a pint glass (about 2 shots per glass of OJ). Works wonders for colds, etc.

Posted by: Drizzle at June 7, 2005 03:41 PM

Darn it, when will people start getting that quote right?

It's a Swiss watchmaker, and he says, "Ve haff vays of making you....tock."

Posted by: N. O'Brain at June 7, 2005 05:09 PM

Chug an entire bottle of 'Tussin DM. Oh, I forgot to say, don't be busy for a good long while.

Posted by: Uncle Gropey at June 7, 2005 07:12 PM

"Sunday's head cold spent maybe 24 hours in my head, then apparently lost its lease and had to move down to my chest. It's taken up a happy residence there."

I cannot help but admire such clever writing.

Posted by: ScienceTeacher at June 7, 2005 09:30 PM

I use Mucinex quite often. I am an asthmatic and I get lots of icky stuff during allergy season as well as when i get a cold.

tip when you have a cold, try to refrain from dairy products. It just makes it worse. Try soy milk instead.

Posted by: Pamela at June 8, 2005 12:23 AM

I enthusiastically support the use of Mucinex. Last fall, I came down with a horrible head cold that, like Steven's, blitzed my chest looking for Lebensraum. I began to wonder if I had ebola or something. I counterattacked with Mucinex, and victory was mine.

Posted by: Owen at June 8, 2005 09:18 AM

ok I thought Stephens personal testimony was the grossest thing i had read in a long while but Dave S outdid even that.

I have to go now and scrub my memory :)

Posted by: peggy at June 8, 2005 10:39 AM

Too funny!

I discovered your site a couple weeks ago and it's become one of my new favorites. I like that your posts span the range from phlegm to human trafficking. I mean, why not?

Posted by: anne arkham at June 8, 2005 02:07 PM