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Dying Is Easy
Posted by Stephen Green  ·   9 May 2005

So I was about to say something nasty about The Huffington Daily Gazetter Bugle Post Blog Thingy, but clicked over to Lileks first. Naturally, he beat me to the punch:

...I’m not impressed.

By the Huffblog, that is. Depends on who writes in the future, I suppose – but who cares why Hillary Rosen can’t figure out how to get stuff on her iPod? Who cares if the wife of the guy who brought us Power Rangers wants nationalized pre-school? (The day I listen to anyone connected with Saban lecturing me about children is the day I listen to some named Hanna or Barbera lecturing me about the nuances of backgrounds in animation.) That’s the big problem with blogs, of course: who cares what X thinks? It all depends on the quality of the thought, the uniqueness of the product, the value added. In the blogworld, a celebrity name adds no value whatsoever. If the blog’s good, the celebrity may earn some blogcred (oh, Lord, shoot me now for that one) for not sounding like someone who just emerged from the isolation tank of LA culture. But I really don’t care what Larry David thinks about John Bolton. I care what Larry David thinks about the itchy tags on shirts that scrape your neck, because I know that he can make a 12-part TV series that revolves around that detail, and George Will can’t.

We’ll see.

Not to quibble, Lileks, but I'm not sure we will see.

Huffington sold her ...thing... as a blog. She also hyped it as an alternative to Drudge. Which is a lot like saying you're going to make a great new laundry detergent to replace Windex. Sure, they both get things clean, but they ain't the same beast.

Donkeys and daddies are all pack animals. But that doesn't make me an ass. (Other things make me an ass, I freely admit.)

Back to the topic at hand.

I looked at Huffingtonreportheraldpost today, but I didn't see a blog. What I saw was a mess of screaming headlines (ala Drudge) and snippets of blogposts which I'd have had to take the effort to actually click on to read. Oh, and the design screams "tabloid!" while the hype shouts "blog!" and the content whimpers "I'm being all clever and bloggy, right?"

Huffington is a sort-of liberal who married a sort-of gay, sort-of Republican man who once sort of ran for the Senate. So maybe it should be no surprise her website is such a jumbled mess.

Give me panicked headlines like Drudge (or better yet, like Sploid), or give me up-to-the-next-second blogposts. Don't give me a twisted spaghetti pile of each then expect me to pick out an indivudual strand, just because the bylines are bigger than mine. (Or to follow through on the metaphor, just because one strand looks to have really tasty sauce.)

We're reading the web. We don't want names; we want content. Huffingtonblogwannabepostthingy might have great content -- but being neither fish nor fowl, I just couldn't get into it. I couldn't read through the wreck of something that looked like a tabloid, claimed to be a blog, and read like Wonkette without the anal sex jokes and killer rack.

Huffington had a lot of hype, but no follow through - and that's why celebrity blogs don't work. Or rather, they can work, and some of them do. But celebrity blogs don't work because they're blogs by celebrities. They work because they're good blogs that just happen to be written by celebrities.

Huffington either forgot that, or never knew it.

OK, so I'm writing off Huffington prematurely, and I shouldn't. She has enough clout (or did until Monday) to make a run at this thing, and maybe she'll figure it out. Or maybe her stable of writers will figure out that building a blog audience (I refuse to type "blaugience") is different from writing for Hollywood.

The Hollywood Way is: do one Really Good Thing, hustle to sell it, then build a career on it. The Blogger Way is: write lots of stuff, hope some of it is good, and hope to build an audience with the stuff that somehow sticks.

The Hollywood Way works great for celebrity culture. The Blogger Way is anti-celebrity. Tom Cruise could coast along the rest of his life making millions of dollars on second-rate movies. A blogger has to fight and scrap and scrape every day, every post, for each and every reader. If there's such a thing as inertia in the blog world, it's a short-lived thing. Meanwhile, Chevy Chase is still making movies.

If we ever see "National Lampoon's Blog Vacation" at the multiplex, I expect to see Arianna with a producer credit. But I also expect to see her online efforts generate even less box office than another lame Chevy Chase flick.

Politics is easy, Ari. Blogging is hard.

Comments

I stopped paying attention to her (except when used as a punchline) when it became apparent that the only thing she was moderately good at was manipulating media/political hype. And she wasn't even good at either of those things separately. She could only manage it when she blended them together in useless, unatural combinations.

Now this blog thing of hers fails to even generate significant hype. Smart money, I'd say, is this being the first in a series of ungracious exits from the spotlight.

Posted by: Russell Wardlow at May 9, 2005 11:52 PM

It's unfair (and a bit smug) to say that politics is easy. In politics, your efforts are measured against those of a (possibly capable) adversary, and there are no prizes for finishing second. In blogging, you can finish 83rd and still feel you've won.

Posted by: sammler at May 10, 2005 04:32 AM

I still can't tell Arianna's voice from Teresa Heinz Kerry's.

Posted by: Alan K. Henderson at May 10, 2005 04:38 AM

Hmm. Reminds me more of something like townhall.com than it does of a blog...

Posted by: Kathy K at May 10, 2005 05:43 AM

Some of us remember her from her time as a journalist in London. A succesion of ever richer walkers was how it seemed to work.
BTW, did you know you’re on her blog roll? Except that it goes to vodkapundit.blogspot.com?

Posted by: Tim Worstall at May 10, 2005 05:55 AM

I dunno. What with articles like Hilary Rosen of the RIAA complaining about DRM, it has potential to become one of the better humor blogs around. And by "humor blog" I mean "laughingstocks of the internets".

Posted by: dorkafork at May 10, 2005 07:33 AM

Where can one find a picture of Wonkette's killer rack?

Posted by: me at May 10, 2005 08:43 AM

I like to see things like her blog. I believe that the more information we have access too, the better off we’ll all be in the long run.

I see an analogy here with the old “you have to get a cockroach out into the light before you can stomp on it” line. Too many celebraties have hidden behind the Hollywood facade for too long. Finding out if they really have active brain cells, and an actual ability to communicate could be very enlightening.

Acting is supposed to be all about communicating, right? Well now, lets see them try to put their thoughts and feelings into words.

Of course, my fear is that they will hide behind their publicists and ghost writers. But even that might still give us a little insight into what they are really thinking (or FEELING). If their blogs turn out to be more fluff than stuff, they’ll never last on the top 10,000 list.

Posted by: jmaster at May 10, 2005 09:16 AM

Unfortunately, jmaster, most can only recite (extremely well!) what others have written for them. Shakespeare had it right, for what is Hecuba to him or he to Hecuba?

Writing an original thought or synthesizing different concepts into a new idea is much, much more difficult.

Posted by: Mikey at May 10, 2005 09:30 AM

At a glance, it reminds me of The Onion.

That might be a compliment.

I like The Onion, but I still don't visit much (almost never).

Posted by: aaron at May 10, 2005 10:08 AM

dorkafork,

Have you seen Jim Lampley stating, apparently without any trace of irony, that the betting lines on Kerry in Vegas PROVES that the election was stolen? Who had Lamps winning the "Most Unhinged Lefty" among all the worthy candidates?

Posted by: SaveFarris at May 10, 2005 11:24 AM

Hey, I went to vokapundit.blogspot.com just to see what's there and the answer is "not much," but there is a blogroll and for the hell of it I clicked on Protein Wisdom because I haven't visited that site in a while out of shame over making an ass of myself in the comments section one stressed-out day, and the link took me to the dictionary.com entry for "retard."

How did you know?

Posted by: byrd at May 10, 2005 12:53 PM

"Or maybe her stable of writers will figure out that building a blog audience (I refuse to type "blaugience")..."

But you just did, Stephen. You just did. Oh, the horror ... ;)

Posted by: Joe@CF at May 10, 2005 01:00 PM

SaveFarris --

And Congressman Conyers comments in his own entry:

'On Huffington Post today, Jim Lampley brings the story back to its essential question: who are you going to believe -- what the mainstream media tells you or your lying eyes?'

By golly, it *is* a live blog.

Posted by: old maltese at May 10, 2005 01:04 PM

If there's such a thing as inertia in the blog world, it's a short-lived thing.

I dunno. I'm still getting a thousand visits a day to my main page.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at May 10, 2005 01:04 PM

With all due respect, Mr. Den Beste, some of your posts had their own gravitational fields -- never mind momentum ;-) You are doomed to fame even when you decline to write.

Posted by: bad cat robot at May 10, 2005 02:05 PM

Is it just me or is she doing a really bad impression of Zsa Zsa Gabor?

I read it on Monday and laughed. Made the mistake again today and laughed harder.

If I keep reading it I might get a big head and convince myself I KNOW more than the writers.

Wait a minute! I do.

Posted by: Kathleen A at May 10, 2005 04:58 PM

Three cheers for Steven Den Beste!

I thought the fake Vodkapundit was done with some wit, at least...or half one, anyway.

Posted by: Charlie Eklund at May 10, 2005 08:03 PM

Can someone please explain how Arianna has any credibility at all? She married a rich guy, who turned out to be gay, so now she hates Republicans. Yet she is a typical blue-blood Republican flying around the country showing up everywhere commenting on everything. Who cares? Who invites her? Isn't she Jim Jeffords or John McCain in drag? What's next? Maybe a reality show featuring Arianna and Martha Stewart called "Getting invited to where you're not wanted."

Posted by: jd at May 10, 2005 09:02 PM

What a horrible post on the betting markets. First, those prices weren't "set," by any social-professional bookmakers, they were just the prices at which the latest trades had cleared. Second, the markets showed Bush with a comfortable lead for months before election day. Third, the markets moved at exactly the time when the leaked exit polls hit the internet. Conclusion: speculators got burned by investing off of bad information.

Posted by: Zach at May 10, 2005 10:26 PM

Even in Hollywood, the mediocre star eventually flames out. And, when they look back on their career, what can they take pride in?

On the other hand, there are those actors who may never break into the top billing, but who deliver a solid, meaningful performance each time. We'll all seen that guy, film after film, crafting gems out of small parts. They don't make the big bucks, but they build a career that spans decades. Sometimes, late in their career, they get some way-overdue glory. More often, not.

But they are actors. Not stars.

In real life, you get your satisfaction from a job well done, not the adulation of the crowd.

Posted by: Linda F at May 12, 2005 06:31 PM



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