Vodkapundit - How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

Posted by Stephen Green · 6 January 2005

A Photo Essay by a Very Prodigal Blogger

Because my wife loves me very much and understands sometimes I need to spend 15 hours in the basement doing "cool" things, she got me a Lego Star Destroyer for Christmas.

Please note the empty wine bottle, provided for scale. If you click for the full-size image, you might be able to read the part count -- 3,104 pieces of Lego in one big box.

OK, make that five boxes. Inside the big box are four smaller boxes - not one of which was actually small. Stuck in between was the product manual. So far as I know, the Star Destroyer kit is the only Lego manual to be spiral bound. Otherwise, there's not a chance any of the 225 pages would lay flat enough to read.

After getting all 3,104 bits organized (sort of) into manageable piles, I celebrated having finished the first page (or 1/225th of the process) by taking a picture.

If you don't know, Legos are square-ish bricks. They don't easily form the sharp angles of an Imperial Star Destroyer. So you first build a frame for the angled bits to hang from, hinged. 22 pages later, I'd finished the first part of the frame.

I was only slightly depressed when, after finishing Page 22, I noticed the big "X 2" at the bottom. Yes, I had to go back to Page 1 and do it all over again for the bottom half of the cruiser.

Here they are hooked together, along with the built-in display stand. Purists might say the stand detracts from the realism of a made-up starship built out of bumpy plastic bits -- but without the stand, the model would fall apart as you put it together. It gets heavy.

That done, you build the four angled panels which form the ship's hull, starting on the lower port side. Coke can and Cheet-Ohs bag provided for scale. Also note, I'm building this before putting away all the Christmas wrap boxes, despite certain promises made to my bride.

The above shot is of interest only to Lego fans and other would-be engineers. Getting that last hull panel on would be impossible, if it snapped together in the usual Lego way. Instead, the outside edges still go click, but the centerlines are held to the frame by magnets. Those are the yellow and black bits in the center of the shot. Excuse the lack of focus, but it was getting late and I had forgotten all about shooting for depth-of-field.

Almost forgot - the engine assembly is pretty cool, too.

Three of four hull panels finished, and I was about out of steam for the night. Then again, it was 2am and I'd been at it for 10 hours.

One hour later, I called it quits for the night. With nothing save the superstructure left to assemble, I called it a good day's work.

The next morning, my thumbs felt like they'd been used for pincushions. But work still went pretty quickly. The next four shots show the progress of building the superstructure, one layer (and about 200 pieces) at a time.

Finally, two beauty shots of the finished product. On the last one, another Coke can is there for scale. Altogether, it's 37 inches long and took about 15 hours to build. And that's for a guy who plows through Lego sets with all the unrushed grace of a teenage boy losing his virginity.

And that's how I spent my Christmas vacation.

NOTE: Pictures courtesy of the Nikon D70 digital SLR - another gift from a bride who loves me far more than I deserve. She might have outdone me this one Christmas, but it'll never happen again.

Comments

Now that is cool. Some days I wish I still got toys for Christmas...

Posted by: nobody at January 6, 2005 11:12 PM

wow - this is a three alarm firebell 'nerd alert' if I ever saw one...

Good to have you back...

Posted by: Frank Martin at January 6, 2005 11:28 PM

Now that is very kewl! My oldest would like me to get him one as well. Only problem is, I would cry if he didn't let me help him. :)

Posted by: Angie at January 6, 2005 11:30 PM

I am SOOO freakin jealous

Posted by: coyote at January 7, 2005 01:17 AM

Sweeeet!

Posted by: Mikey at January 7, 2005 06:26 AM

Wow

Glad you are back!

Posted by: JOe at January 7, 2005 06:46 AM

This helps explain your sabbatical. Very cool, and welcome back.

Posted by: JohnL at January 7, 2005 07:16 AM

That is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

Posted by: Brock at January 7, 2005 08:52 AM

Love it! Haven't built the Star Wars stuff in a while.

Posted by: Crusader at January 7, 2005 08:59 AM

Cool. I'm filled with envy! :)

Posted by: Patrick Chester at January 7, 2005 09:04 AM

The difficulty of the task is clearly illustrated by the switch from empty wine bottle to empty Coke cans in mid-stream.

Posted by: Crank at January 7, 2005 09:30 AM

I'd love to get one of those, but I would have to take out a second mortgage. . . :-(

Oh, to be a kid again.

Welcome back!!

Posted by: LBParker at January 7, 2005 09:30 AM

I got a Lego Technic space shuttle kit a few years ago...I think it took me at least ten hours to assemble. But, it was seriously worth it. Legos are truly great. Congrats, Steve!

Posted by: HokiePundit at January 7, 2005 10:26 AM

Looks almost exactly like my christmas. Actually, I gave my fiance his Star Destroyer a week before christmas so that he could have it put together and under the tree for pictures. Moving it downstairs though, ended up being a problem. Dude, that thing is HUGE!

Posted by: Cathy Hall at January 7, 2005 10:29 AM

I am your father, Lego Luke.

(Welcome back, and Lego my Eggo)

Posted by: Darth Freakin' Vader at January 7, 2005 10:45 AM

Am I the only one who heard Darth Vader's theme in my head while reading this?

Over and over and OVER?

Posted by: Parker at January 7, 2005 10:50 AM

How do you like the Nikon? Beth and I are really enjoying the Canon Digital Rebel we just got. I couldn't really justify the price different for the D70, but it seems like a better camera.

Posted by: Matt Moore at January 7, 2005 10:53 AM

Damn, this is absolutely the coolest thing I have seen in a helluva long time. OK seriously I am very jealous and wish I had one too but, I have a real car in the garage to play with and my beloved buys me all kinds of toys to work on it with and indulges me often so I cannot complain.

Glad to have you back Stephen, missed the prose and stuff.

Posted by: bolivar at January 7, 2005 11:15 AM

Wow. Now imagine what nerdy (I mean that in the best way) project Steven Den Beste will show us pictures of when he explains his far longer absence !

(And yes, I am joking, fully aware that he has sincerely proclaimed no intentions of returning to USS Clueless posting.)

Posted by: Ben at January 7, 2005 11:16 AM

Lego makes a tiny Millennium Falcon and Slave-1 that you can attach to the bridge for extra geekiness, you know.

Posted by: Geek at January 7, 2005 11:33 AM

I made the space station for my granddaughter a couple of Christmas's ago. It's amazing. Took at least 12 hours. I had a great time.

Posted by: erp at January 7, 2005 11:46 AM

You need a certain bumper sticker in the back: "We Brake For Nobody."

Welcome back, you lousy Cardinals fan, you! ;-)

Posted by: Pejman Yousefzadeh at January 7, 2005 11:48 AM

Death Star next?

And to think I wasted my vacation on Half-Life 2.

Posted by: Hogarth at January 7, 2005 12:45 PM

I'm jealous. I've got the X-Wing and the Millenium Falcon, but I haven't found the Star Destroyer in Wal-Mart yet.

Posted by: Dave at January 7, 2005 01:18 PM

I just checked Lego's list price on this thing--$300.

When you said you have "a bride who loves me far more than I deserve", you weren't kidding.

Posted by: nobody at January 7, 2005 01:44 PM

http://www.tamiyausa.com/product/item.php?product-id=60311 1/32
Japanese Zero with an incredible amount of detail for the same price. My guess is that would take several hundred hours to complete. But as my lovely wife said above, no second mortgages!
And that's not even getting into historical miniatures, with a 54mm Roman galley for @ $2500.
Glad to have you back, and thanks for the beautiful fisking today.

Posted by: Don Parker at January 7, 2005 03:31 PM

"Hi, I'm Stephen, and I'm a Lego-holic ..."

Posted by: David Crawford at January 7, 2005 03:59 PM

We have so got to get you a girlfriend, Steve.

Do you think Melissa will mind?

Posted by: andy at January 7, 2005 05:34 PM

My gosh, your wife sure does love you. Did you get in trouble for not putting away the wrapping box?

Posted by: RP at January 8, 2005 05:51 AM

Not only a job well done but a great inspiring story of a wonderful woman who is obviously a wonderful wife and a wonderful man and husband who appreciates her as well. Definitely struck pure gold there.

Posted by: Crystal at January 8, 2005 02:49 PM

I have got to get me one of those!

Posted by: Greg at January 9, 2005 11:31 PM

Hey dude,
Actually, my bride is made of Legos. She's 10,000 pieces and came in 60 small boxes. Complicated, yes. But in the end, I was able to put a wine bottle next to her for scale and I knew it was love.

Later,
Joe

Posted by: Joe at January 10, 2005 12:01 PM

Hmmm, Lego pr0n. Yummy.

Remember, Lego is both singular AND plural. Lego, not Legos.

I so want one.

Posted by: Kresh at January 10, 2005 04:52 PM

Any woman that would feed her husband's inner geek in so glorius a fashion is...well, just freaking wow.

Coolest. Gift. Ever.

Welcome back Steve.

Posted by: Garrett at January 11, 2005 08:49 AM

Not Lego Pr0n, but almost as good:
http://www.thebricktestament.com/

Posted by: Wacky Hermit at January 12, 2005 07:52 PM