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Ouch
Posted by Stephen Green  ·   2 December 2004

Oooooh-kay - what I thought was a stomach bug is something else. The back of my throat feels like somebody took a long pair of rusty tongs and used them to work a Brill-O Pad down there.

Gonna go buy drugs.

Comments

TO: Stephen Green
RE: Drugs?

Try homeopathy, compadre.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 10:00 AM

sounds like what my girlfriend had last week, and i have this week. good luck!

Posted by: Hunter at December 2, 2004 10:01 AM

Homeopathy? Try water. Just as effective.

Posted by: Ian Wood at December 2, 2004 10:09 AM

Drugs do absolutely nothing to help you get over a virus. Either your body is going to fight it off, or you're going to die.

Drugs do, however, make you feel a lot better while the war is waging. Medicate, man! There's no reason for suffering in this day and age.

Posted by: Jeff Harrell at December 2, 2004 10:17 AM

TO: Ian Wood
RE: Water?

"Just as effective." -- Ian Wood

Care to run a little experiment? It's something you can do in your own home. However, I do recommend parental supervision.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 11:19 AM

Mmmm, drugs.

Posted by: zombyboy at December 2, 2004 11:20 AM

TO: Jeff Harrell
RE: Drugs v. Virus

"Drugs do absolutely nothing to help you get over a virus." -- Jeff Harrell

True. True. For the stuff the doctors give you here.

However, It might be a bacterial thingie. Sore throats can come from viral infections, but I've found them mostly to be from bacterial ones.

Homeopathics can help with bacterials, but I've not found them to be as effective as against viral thingies.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 11:23 AM

Stephen, go to the doctor. You might have strep throat, which can be bad (as in "bad").

Posted by: Jim at December 2, 2004 11:26 AM

i'm telling ya Stephan,5 years,
a smoker,ZINC 3 times a week,
been sick only twice,but drugs
are good too,oh the 80's were
good to me.
now back to my beer

Posted by: andrea/flannels/minnesota at December 2, 2004 11:42 AM

My husband always drinks OJ when his throat feels like that.

Hurts but for some reason, the acid helps and coats his throat.

He swears by it.

Posted by: Sandy P at December 2, 2004 12:00 PM

Chuck--Placebos work, sure. If you want to believe that a 200C solution of Oscillococcinum (which, to contain even a single molcule of its supposed active ingredients, would have to be diluted to 1 part in 100 to the 200th power) cures your flu, you go right ahead.

100 raised to the 200th is, BTW, greater than the number of molecules in the universe.

The laws of physics indicate that there's a point at which dilution loses the original substance entirely--that's one part in 10 to the 24th, which corresponds to heomepathic concentrations of 12C or 24X.

I just got over acute bronchitis with six pills of azithromycin. Done. Over. Eating yogurt to restock the beneficial fauna in my guts that were innocent victims of the antibiotic.

You think that I could have avoided pneumonia with, at most, a few molecules' worth of antimonium tartaricum in a 3X solution?

Yeah, sure, you betcha.

Posted by: Ian Wood at December 2, 2004 12:00 PM

Could be strep. Need amoxicillin.

Posted by: barbara at December 2, 2004 12:26 PM

TO: Ian Wood
RE: Preaching to the Choir

My undergrad work was pre-med microbiology. At UNL in the early 70s, a micro major was a double-major. We took more chemistry than a regular chem-major did.

RE: You...

...still haven't offered to run the little experiment I was suggesting.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 12:33 PM

TO: Stephen Green
RE: Strep

barbara is right. If it is Strep the antibiotics are your best bet.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 12:34 PM

Suck on a lemon drop while you ingest a studly hot toddy.

Posted by: Calvin E. von Weissenfluh at December 2, 2004 12:36 PM

Chuck--then you should know better.

And YOU: haven't mentioned any particulars.

Posted by: Ian Wood at December 2, 2004 12:38 PM

So much for the theory that pathogens can't survive in alcohol. ;-)

Feel better soon, Steve.

Posted by: Dave Schuler at December 2, 2004 01:04 PM

When I feel the barbed wire throat thingy coming on, I do MASSIVE amounts of vitamin C. Like 5 thousand milligrams per day. It seems to effectively kill ANYTHING out of the ordinary inside of me. And whatever C my body doesn't need, well...it goes, uh, well you know.

Posted by: PunditGuy at December 2, 2004 01:34 PM

Vodka's not known for its medicinal value.

I recommend Bookers bourbon, the cask strength version of Laphroiag, or a premium gin.

Or all three, in rotation.

Posted by: michael parker at December 2, 2004 01:37 PM

Go to the Dr. Trust me. I started out with the same, THREE weeks ago and thought I could beat the thing with OTC drugs. Nup.
You need Rx Drugs......

Posted by: Melissa at December 2, 2004 01:38 PM

TO: Ian Wood
RE: Knowing Better

Sure I know better. I also know we have no clue as to what causes A-V Blocks, a heart condition which caused me to become one with the borg this year. A proto-type, if you will. [Note: According to the last read-out, I was supposed to die 0618 hrs, 18 Oct 04. No regular heart beat for 5 minutes. I was working out at the time. Probably stepping-out on the elliptical skier to something by Tubthumper...]

In other words, as SecDef Rumsfeld so aptly put it, "We do not know what we do not know."

However, I was a skeptic too, when I was first intro'd to it. And, oddly enough, I've found it works VERY effectively in cases of accidents, i.e., burns, and viral infections...if I can ID the symptoms properly.

RE: The Test

Here are the conditions.

Go buy yourself a vial of Cantharis. Anything from 6X to 10C. Keep it in your kitchen or first aid kit.

Next time you get a REALLY bad burn, cooking or ironing, take three tabs under your tongue. Let them dissolve in their own accord. Do NOT swollow them. Do not drink or eat for 15 minutes.

Tell me if you notice you don't have as much pain or blistering and if you recover quicker.

Or, you COULD be pro-active about it. Put a stainless steel skillet or tray in an oven at 400°F. After 30 minutes, take the item OUT of the oven WITHOUT using any material to separate your skin from the metal.

Then take the cantharis.

Regards,

Chuck(le)
P.S. I've done this 'experiment' myself. Not intentionally, mind you. I had enough of masochism going through the Army's spa at Fort Benning School for Boys; the Ranger course.

It does work. And even if it could be a placebo effect. It beats the hell out of the pain, neh?

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 01:39 PM

TO: Dave Schuler
RE: Alcohol vs. Pathogens

"So much for the theory that pathogens can't survive in alcohol." -- Dave Schuler

Only if you can get them BEFORE they get under your 'skin', i.e., in the blood.

Obviously, Vodka Boy wasn't drinking sufficiently at the time he came into contact with the vectored agent of infection.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 01:42 PM

Actually, Ian, to avoid pneumonia, brush teeth 4x a day - every 6 hours or so.

I have a friend who works in the med supply industry.

They're just discovering that.

Posted by: Sandy P at December 2, 2004 03:29 PM

TO: Sandy P
RE: And Have a Nurse...

"Actually, Ian, to avoid pneumonia, brush teeth 4x a day - every 6 hours or so." -- Sandy P

...wake you up in the middle of the night to make you do it as scheduled.

Preferably an ugly one with a bad disposition.

Enjoy,

Chuck(le)
P.S. We gotta keep up this wonderful medical system we've got, that gives a cardiologist $1000 an hour.

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 03:35 PM

P.P.S. And they are scheduled so tightly that you can't get an appointment for a month and a half....do the math.

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 2, 2004 03:37 PM

Dude, I would err on the side of caution and **assume** that it could the strep. You NEED to take a decent antibiotic for strep as you do NOT want to fight it off yourself. You could potentially develop an auto-immune condition wherein your immune system attacks the
bacteria and then attacks the body's own tissues (like permanent heart-valve damage, etc.).

Not being an alarmist, but my doctor missed a strep diagnosis this fall and I went the weekend feeling like hell. Not good.

Posted by: A.D. at December 2, 2004 07:50 PM

That's what yew git fer eatin' Bill O'Lielly's used falafel.

Posted by: Prince O'Peas at December 3, 2004 07:14 AM

NyQuil and DayQuil

You will never need anything else.

Posted by: Stan Shivell at December 3, 2004 11:40 AM

Gargle with Salt Water. It's unpleasant when you do it, but it really really (two really's!) helps a sore trout. Lasts about 6 hours.

Follow with the hot toddy soemone suggested before.

Question for all: Will a microwave heat liquor?

Posted by: Phillip B. at December 3, 2004 05:56 PM

Can't imagine why it wouldn't. Might do interesting things to the taste, tho.

Posted by: rosignol at December 3, 2004 07:36 PM

Here's a cure that worked for me once.

I has some sort of flu/throat thing, and friends came over and forced me to come to a house party.

I drank a fifth of Bacardi 151 (it was a not paying attention thing) and proceeded to throw up for the next couple of hours, until my uvula was so swollen that it was sitting on my esophagus.

I was hung over for two days. BUT--all the germs went away.

So, I guess you could try that.

Posted by: Winston Smith at December 3, 2004 08:49 PM

Dear Stephen Green,

I contracted streptococcal infections every year through my teen years, and have a number of friends who are trained physicians, as well as many herbalists, spiritualists, and even a few homeopathic maniacs. They all take antibiotics and eat red meat when they think no one is looking.

If your throat is red and raw with white pustules, it sounds like classic Strep, which can lodge in the heart muscle if not treated with great care and respect.

Any course of antibiotics should be FRESHLY PRESCRIBED by a physician, not some leftovers or something your large animal vet prescribed for your horse’s strangles.

On the other hand, Mark Twain used to tell that when he had the miseries, he asked a friend for advice, and that friend told him to drink a quart of whiskey. Thinking it wise to seek an alternate view, Twain asked another friend. The advice was again: drink a quart of whiskey.

That makes a half gallon.

Mr. Twain said when he was sober again, the sickness was gone.

I am disinclined to argue with success.

Posted by: David March, animator at December 3, 2004 09:40 PM

TO: Phillip B. & rosignol
RE: Microwaving Liquor

"Question for all: Will a microwave heat liquor?" -- Phillip B.

No problems. Works particlarly good if you just want to boil off the alcohol and use the rest for flavoring foods and beverages, e.g., want to make some punch for a church function and the church doesn't care for alcohol at their activities? Boil off the alcohol and use the rest to flaovr the punch.

I warm my brandies in the microwave; 11 seconds. Heat up a killer holiday punch too:

1 part bourbon
3 parts Cranapple juice cocktail
1 tsp brown sugar
1 stick cinnamin
3 cloves (whole)

Mix in a good glass mug.
Microwave 30 seconds.
Enjoy....

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 4, 2004 03:57 AM

TO: Stephen Green
RE: Don't Listen to that Quack

"Vodka's not known for its medicinal value." -- micheal parker

Even Vladimir Putin, President of Russia, recognizes vodka's medical value. According to recent reports, all his eating utensils are disinfected using it.

I imagine the kitchen staff (1) all volunteer for dishwashing and (2) are something of a handful afterwards.

Regards,

Chuck(le)
[Alcohol! The last gift of the relenting gods. The simple word that makes life's crossword puzzle easier to elucidate. - Lennie Lower]

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 4, 2004 10:52 AM

P.S. I just hope they're not using the Stolies.

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 4, 2004 10:53 AM

When I was in the hospital they gave me lemon drops for my throat. My father gave me a tablespoon full of sugar saturated with whiskey. That was 70 years ago, and I still use it.

Posted by: Johnnie Dontos at December 4, 2004 12:06 PM

It does work. And even if it could be a placebo effect. It beats the hell out of the pain, neh?

If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid.

YMMV.

Posted by: rosignol at December 4, 2004 05:51 PM

TO: rosignol
RE: Eggsacitally

"If it's stupid, but it works, it's not stupid." -- rosignol

As I said, I did the 'experiment' myself. Inadvertantly, albeit. Grabbed a hot stainless steel pan, fresh out of the oven at a church dinner I was serving for. No one warned me it was 'hot'.

Nice second degree burns on two fingers and thumb.

Did not have any cantharis with me at the event. Had to wait an hour before I could get home. Kept my hand in cold water, as much as possible. A harsh sizzling sensation whenever I took it out of the water.

Finally got home. Took the cantharis. Fifteen minutes later, the pain was GONE. Blisters went in a couple of days.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 4, 2004 06:08 PM

Ick - strep. If your uvula's touching your throat, you need the cillins and quick.

If your lovely wife even gets a tingle in her throat, she needs them, too.

Posted by: Sandy P at December 4, 2004 09:34 PM


lefty bloggers cheating in 2004 Weblog Awards...

figgers-

Posted by: nikita demosthenes at December 5, 2004 12:13 AM

Never say no to drugs!
--- Said the woman in labour.

Totally a-diggin ur blog, killin hilarious entries, and I do hope u get better.

Posted by: Sasha at December 5, 2004 04:30 AM

TO: Sandy P
RE: Uvula? Throat? Touching?

"If your uvula's touching your throat..." -- Sandy P

Been there. Done that. A little accident at the dentist; military type. A great guy. Full colonel and very professional.

New assistant helping him that day. Just out of 'school'. I was her 'first'. She was 'nervous'.

So he's busy working away and she's got the aspirator in my mouth picking up the fluid from my glands and the water drill. Along with the detrious from the tooth he's working on.

Suddenly the room was filled with a sound similiar to a playing card stuck in the spokes of a bicycle wheel.

I can see the colonel looking around trying to figure out where that odd sound is coming from. He looks down at my face, which is transfixed in dumb amazement; eyes flung wide open as well as mouth. I cannot move a muscle. He looks up at the assistant who is trying to find some tool on her tray.

The colonel puts his drill aside, reaches down to grasp the assistant's wrist and gently pulls it away from my mouth. The sound stops and I can speak again. And I DO!!!!

She had succeeded in aspirating my uvula.

You can do this yourself. Get a good vacuum cleaner and use the crevicing tool. It's 'interesting'.

The colonel asked me if I wanted to report into the emergency room. I should have taken the advice. But being the hard-case sort, I said no. I wasn't bleeding....yet.

However, on the drive back home, an hour later, I started gagging. The abused uvula was swollen so large it was hitting the gag-reflex point down my throat. It was very difficult driving.

I finally got home, without wrecking the car while retching.

So I called the emergency room at the hospital; still choking and retching. In one second I was asked if I could hold and I got put on hold.

I called back. They asked if I could hold again. I choked and retched for the operator. She said, "I guess you can't."

Too much fun. Thanks for the memory....

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 5, 2004 10:29 AM

Sounds like an Excellent name for a Blog:

Aspirated Uvula

Posted by: David March at December 5, 2004 12:33 PM

TO: David March
RE: Ouch

"Sounds like an Excellent name for a Blog:" -- David March

Yeah....try it and see.

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 5, 2004 12:39 PM

The white pantyhose clubs suggests the following

Grab the NyQuil and the Chloraseptic (throat spray worth its weight in vodka), do the Hydrogen Peroxide (1/2 strength,DO NOT swallow. Saline gargles work well too. Throw a bit of the old Blistex on the lips (since you might be doing a bit of mouth breathing-wouldn't want to dry up your kisser your know)

Then have cup of tea, push clear fluids to 2500cc/24 hrs, tuck yoursef under the covers, remover your wireless laptop from the room, unplug the phone and relax. Oh yes, a vitamin and some Vitamin C as well. Now take some DayQuill and if you feel worse after 48hours then go to a doc in the box, for a throat culture and then if it comes back positive, they will then give you a Rx for some antibotics.Take the whole script for 10 days, event thought you will feel better in three. If you take antibotics without a positive culture you are wasting your money, and decreaseing your tolerance. Do not the emergency room. The ER will cost you an airplane ticket and you will make all the heathcare professionals in the place nuts since it is not an emergency... (note I quit the profession too many emergency earaches thatthe person had for 6 weeks)

Then when are this is done, kiss your sweetie for being so patient, put on your favorite jeans and sweatshirt, make your favorite beverage and watch a Simpsons DVD. Laugh you head off, call your friends, and plan to do something incredible fun that you have been putting off... Best to you. Former ER and Hospice nurse.

Quote: If all your parts are working, its a great day.

Oh get the laptop back.

Posted by: V at December 5, 2004 05:00 PM

The white pantyhose clubs suggests the following

Grab the NyQuil and the Chloraseptic (throat spray worth its weight in vodka), do the Hydrogen Peroxide (1/2 strength,DO NOT swallow. Saline gargles work well too. Throw a bit of the old Blistex on the lips (since you might be doing a bit of mouth breathing-wouldn't want to dry up your kisser your know)

Then have cup of tea, push clear fluids to 2500cc/24 hrs, tuck yoursef under the covers, remover your wireless laptop from the room, unplug the phone and relax. Oh yes, a vitamin and some Vitamin C as well. Now take some DayQuill and if you feel worse after 48hours then go to a doc in the box, for a throat culture and then if it comes back positive, they will then give you a Rx for some antibotics.Take the whole script for 10 days, event thought you will feel better in three. If you take antibotics without a positive culture you are wasting your money, and decreaseing your tolerance. Do not the emergency room. The ER will cost you an airplane ticket and you will make all the heathcare professionals in the place nuts since it is not an emergency... (note I quit the profession too many emergency earaches thatthe person had for 6 weeks)

Then when are this is done, kiss your sweetie for being so patient, put on your favorite jeans and sweatshirt, make your favorite beverage and watch a Simpsons DVD. Laugh you head off, call your friends, and plan to do something incredible fun that you have been putting off... Best to you. Former ER and Hospice nurse.

Quote: If all your parts are working, its a great day.

Oh get the laptop back.

Posted by: V at December 5, 2004 05:01 PM

TO: Stephen Green
RE: Hey!

I had a touch of a sore throat myself, today.

Have you come up with a new internet virus?

Could be a nobel prize in there, somewhere. Or a full time job with the CIA....

Regards,

Chuck(le)

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 5, 2004 05:28 PM

P.S. My solution was not homeopathy. Rather, it was several martinis and a dinner of dishes involving LOTS of garlic.

Enjoy....

Posted by: Chuck Pelto at December 5, 2004 06:32 PM

I didn't realize how many doctors there are reading blogs until I saw the comments on this post. Get well!

Posted by: Mark at December 7, 2004 02:02 PM

Sounds curiously like what I had about 3 weeks ago. Started off like a mild cold, then suddenly one night I was violently ill and queasy all night long. The nausea went away the next day but I continued to have bad cold symptoms, particularly a raw, painful throat and a cough. I'm just now getting to the "completely well" stage.

Posted by: Anne Haight at December 7, 2004 02:29 PM

Two gratuitous and well-meaning suggestions:

1. Drink the old Shaker remedy, Sage Tea. Ordinary rubbed sage from the spice rack -- a tablespoon or more stapled into a homemade tea bag folded from a coffee filter then dissolved in a tall glass of boiling water. Drink when it turns yellow-green. This effectively dries and soothes everything like you wouldn't believe and helps you sleep.

2. Create artificial fever to stimulate the immune response. Best way I have found to do that is soaking in as hot a bath as you can stand. Soothing, calming, drying -- and always makes me feel better.

Hope you feel better ASAP.

Posted by: Eric Scheie at December 7, 2004 02:33 PM

The most effective way to fight a cold is to commit suicide.

If the theory behind homeopathy were true then water from the Hudson River could be bottled as medicine "as is". After all it is superdiluted solution that has been in contact with most everything from wet cats to ragweed pollen.

Posted by: Brian Macker at December 7, 2004 05:28 PM

Well, here's hoping you're cold and sore-throat free by now!!

I think eating lots of salad with garlic, onion, and radish is useful; the Koreans eat kimchi (and there are hundreds of varieties that do not smell bad).

Just remember that among humans so far we have a very nearly 100% death rate... just take common sense precautions like always washing your hands and brushing your teeth--our parents may not have been microbiologists; but they gave us great advice...

Posted by: jtb-in-texas at December 8, 2004 06:50 AM

"Try homeopathy, compadre."

I don't understand how changing his sexual orientation is going to help his sore throat.

Posted by: bobby at December 8, 2004 10:32 AM



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