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You Never Can Tell
Posted by Will Collier  ·  15 November 2004

Trolling through the recesses of the Blogosphere, you run into some pretty strange stuff. Take this yahoo, known as "Irate Savant." He's either the most simultaneously pompous and pathetic tool on the planet (he claims to be a misunderstood genius, but his job is antique store clerk), an utter loon, or a shameless con artist.

Any which way you choose, it's pretty darn entertaining reading, but way out on the weird side. The comments are a real hoot; the Savant's readers aren't shy about pointing out his shortcomings. A strong tolerance for high-fallutin' language is recommended...

Comments

I think I remember stumbling across this blog a few days ago (I started my own blog last week and was looking for templates) and just as quickly stumbled out of it, but I revisited it after seeing your comments.

While I am not a fan of porn, I think I would rather know the guy who collected it than the guy who makes fun of his sister's husband for collecting it . . . especially after they gave him a $2000 laptop.

What a prize this guy is . . .

Posted by: David at November 15, 2004 01:21 PM

Hey, Collier lives. Green is still absent without leave, though, I'm disappointed to see.

Posted by: Jeff Harrell at November 15, 2004 01:46 PM

In my joy at seeing signs of life from the Vodkapundits (collectively), I sorta forgot to mention the thing I was commenting to mention.

This may be a sign of some sort of early-onset neurological disorder on my part. Send help.

Anyway, my point was this: white type on a black background is not a sign of intelligence. I honestly couldn't say which one inspired me to close the window first: the kid's obvious banality, or me clawing at my face screaming "MY EYES! MY PRECIOUS EYES!"

But it was one of those.

Posted by: Jeff Harrell at November 15, 2004 01:52 PM

This guy is Ignatius Riley incarnate.(anyone remember "A Confederacy of Dunces" anymore?)

Posted by: Tom at November 15, 2004 01:55 PM

The curse of the anecdote....the blog readers obvious addiction...LOL

This guy mainlines Mervyn Peake's "Gormengast" and Oscar Wilde type descriptive predilections with a healthy dose of "Ulysses" abstractness.

Entertaining stuff......but maybe it is a woman writing?.....who knows?....who cares??

Posted by: Damian at November 15, 2004 02:11 PM

I just read Tom's post, and he is right.....it is "A Confederacy of Dunces" all over

Posted by: Damian at November 15, 2004 02:14 PM

Hey, Will--troll over to my blog if you're trolling.

www.madparson.blogspot.com

(And from a former Birminghamer, congrats on the Tigers' season. I hope they take it all. [And yes, I do gloat when the Pride of Bryant tailspins. . . .])

Posted by: The Parson at November 15, 2004 03:15 PM

Tom and Damian nailed it. This guy has read and reread "A Confederacy of Dunces" way too many times. I expect a post about his valve any time now.

Posted by: mark tomeo at November 15, 2004 03:42 PM

i didn't notice it until it was pointed out by other posters, but yeah... it's ignatius redux.

'course... it's POSSIBLE that...

nah. it's gotta be satirical. i refuse to believe that a twit capable of that kind of mental masturbation exists.

OTOH, every time i say "i refuse to believe"...

ok... gonna end this post before i refute myself again.

Posted by: rick_2g at November 15, 2004 03:57 PM

And another philosophy major enters the job market. Its always fun to check out their favorite books. Pretentious French (bonus points for Swiss) book: check (x2), Esoteric classic usually Wilde or Thoreau -Walden does not count-: check (bonus points for choosing Burton), Sci-Fi pretending as great literature (Moorcock, non-Elric, is the preferred choice): check although he did pick one of the better ones. Then he tacks on the Avengers? I think he hurt my head.

Posted by: Mike at November 15, 2004 04:06 PM

Reminds me the protagonist in Michael McDowell's novel "Topper". Erudite, superior, and quite mad. It's a good book but . . . odd. McDowell's most famous for co-writing the screenplay for Tim Burton's film 'Beetlejuice'.

Posted by: Terry at November 15, 2004 04:10 PM

Ooops! The McDowell novel is called "Toplin".

Posted by: Terry at November 15, 2004 04:29 PM

Well heck, if we are trolling for visitors, come on over to my new blog at www.talesofawanderingmind.blogspot.com

It may never be worth quoting, but everyone likes to see their visitor meter click upwards.

Posted by: David at November 15, 2004 05:44 PM

I'm tempted to agree with those up yonder who suggested that this must be satire, but then I remembered … they let me have a blog. There's no cover charge at this party, evidently.

Posted by: Jeff Harrell at November 15, 2004 06:25 PM

Reminds me a little of H.P. Lovecraft.

Posted by: JohnL at November 15, 2004 06:38 PM

Why do you troll through the recesses of the blogosphere?
Look what it gets you.

Posted by: m at November 15, 2004 07:31 PM

If this is not a spoof blog, I'm surprised. The fellow is a living caricature. His discourses on Catholicism are either excellent satire or a cry for help.

Posted by: Doug at November 15, 2004 09:15 PM

And for the record, I'm leaning to the "excellent satire" side.

Posted by: Doug at November 15, 2004 09:17 PM

hey i discovered this guy first!!

Posted by: random prose at November 15, 2004 09:55 PM

i demand linkage! :)

Posted by: random prose at November 15, 2004 09:55 PM

What the hell does "glabrescent" mean???

Posted by: Carl at November 15, 2004 10:24 PM

"Glabrescent" -- "nearly hairless," a term from botany. Talk about pretentious.

Posted by: stombs at November 15, 2004 10:52 PM

Satire. Funny.

Posted by: Freeman at November 15, 2004 11:12 PM

Reminds me of the Adrian Mole diaries, but funnier.

Posted by: Joe at November 16, 2004 02:07 PM

Terry's hit it on the head...

"Reminds me the protagonist in Michael McDowell's novel "Topper". Erudite, superior, and quite mad."

The guy is developing a character for a novel. A pathetic, under-employed, over-educated metrosexual who blows every opportunity to "close the deal" because he must return to his womb-like lair to over analyze the object of his obsession.

Posted by: Dacotti at November 16, 2004 03:16 PM

Somebody needs to call the police before that woman ends up in his basement with his other victims.

Posted by: Patrick at November 16, 2004 03:40 PM

I'm voting for clever satire. A little Ignatius Reilly, lots of trolling, ultimately he gets a batch of fist-shaking spittle-flecked comments which he leaves. Also see Root, Henry.

Come on. Left turn signals? Movie reviews? Cute chick gives him a ride to Target? My job sucks? It's the same blog two hundred thousand other people are writing, only he's found a way to add a wink and a maddening but compelling narrator. I'd give odds he's related to the Abercrombie Chick.

Shiat now I'm startin' to sound like him.

Posted by: ben at November 16, 2004 11:31 PM

I don't think this guy is satirical. Last week he made a couple of typically-pretentious comments on my blog, under the name "Irate Savant", but with no link to his blog. There would be no point in perpetrating such a charade on my blog if people could not easily access his site (and he would choose a more popular blog than mine for exposure).

Still, he's quite the enigma.

Posted by: random prose at November 17, 2004 12:24 AM

I haven't read Confederacy of Dunces, so I can't comment on his likeness to the character in that book. Personally, I find it impossible to read this guy's writing without "hearing" it read in the voice of the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons.

"This is a very rare copy of Mary Worth, where she advises a friend to commit suicide."

Posted by: HoustonF at November 17, 2004 10:14 AM

I find Dacotti's remarks interesting and disturbing, because they could pretty much be describing me, and I like to think I've got a lot more on the ball than either "Savant" or "Comic-Book Guy." Actually, they could be describing a lot of people I know, the Forgotten Under-Achievers of the Baby Boom Generation: repelled and/or bored by the business world (even those of us who are ardently pro-capitalism), who never achieved their goals of success in the artistic world, and so end up working in lower-echelon jobs. We're often described as "over-educated," and yet that term has always mystified me. How can one have too much education? Can Dacotti or someone else please clarify?

Posted by: Bill Chadwick at November 17, 2004 11:13 AM

Finally, a little more geometry in this world.

Posted by: kim at November 17, 2004 11:23 AM

"antique store clerk"

Is that a clerk working in an antique store or an antique clerk working in a store?

Posted by: Pamela at November 17, 2004 11:37 AM

After now reading every post the Savant has made, I'm convinced this is a brilliantly conceived satire of a character. It even has a bit of Lovecraftian intrigue (mysterious, possibly non-human visitors to the antique store), and even a developing romantic interest for good measure. It's like reading a serialized novel and I eagerly await new installments.

Posted by: HoustonF at November 17, 2004 02:24 PM

If you are fans of Chris Onstad's "Achewood" (achewood.com) you will be amazed by Irate Savant's resemblance to Pat's blog: http://journeyintoreason.blogspot.com/

The resemblance is creepy. The eyes-follow-you-around-the-room creepy.

Posted by: Beryl Gray at November 18, 2004 03:25 PM

"It's like reading a serialized novel and I eagerly await new installments."

If he would shut up about Guatemalan/Lebanese/whatever food and just take the girl out, it'd be a lot better. I can't wait for the description of their 'date.'

Posted by: jean-paul at November 19, 2004 10:26 AM

el tipo es una herramienta

Posted by: Esteban / Whitman at November 20, 2004 05:26 PM



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