Vodkapundit - Beats the Alternative

Beats the Alternative

Posted by Stephen Green · 26 April 2004

Oh, crap. I did not mean to turn 35 today. Or even this month, or this year. Or ever.

Thirty was just fine -- I could still pass for 27. And at 33, most people had me pegged at 30, or 29 on a good day. And at 35? Well, I think I look my age. And that's fine by me.

I don't want to be 27 again. I don't even want to look it. At 27 I was too breezy, too callow, and more gullible than I'd like to admit. Eight years later, I'm still pretty breezy and callow and gullible -- but less so. Such is progress, and you hope you get it right before everything falls apart and they're shoveling dirt on your face.

The first wrinkles are showing up. And just like my dad and his dad before him, the gray is starting low on the sides -- won't be long now before it begins working its way up. Yet puberty still hasn't come to visit my chest. Might be time to stop waiting for it.

A more important note: Liver function, still strong!

35. Too young for middle age, too old for youth -- and that strikes me as the perfect balance. Of course, it's an unstable balance, but you can't go backwards. That's just fine, too. Do any of us really want 1992 again? 23 was great fun, and it sure would be fun to get a chance to do it better. But does anybody want to watch the Ross Perot campaign in reruns?

Onward then.

Comments

Happy B-Day, Mr. Green.

Posted by: Rhesa at April 25, 2004 10:40 PM

Heh! You're older than IIIIII am! Neener, neener, neener! (Ok, so only by 11 days...)

Posted by: Cybrludite at April 25, 2004 10:55 PM

Hah! You're just a kid to someone who's 20 years older. When you get to be my age, 55 is just a number.

Posted by: Bloodthirsty Warmonger at April 25, 2004 11:12 PM

Yeah, I didn't mean to turn 51 a coupla montha ago. Darn it.

Posted by: Yehudit at April 26, 2004 01:38 AM

I didn't mean to turn 70 in a couple of months, it just crept up on me. I don't feel any different than I did at 19 amd lucky for me, my husband still thinks I look the same as the day we meet 50 years ago.

I hope you and Melissa share the next 50 years always seeing each other the way you looked when you first met and continue to love and appreciate each other through thick and thin.

Happy Birthday and many, many more.

Posted by: erp at April 26, 2004 05:43 AM

"You hope you get it right ..." Well said. Some things change, but, keep that commitment and the one erp expresses. Many, many happy returns.

Now, if only you catblogged...

Posted by: Richard Meixner at April 26, 2004 07:55 AM

Don't feel too bad, Stephen, I turned 40 two weeks ago.

Posted by: David R Beatty at April 26, 2004 07:59 AM

... oh, and Happy Birthday!

Posted by: David R Beatty at April 26, 2004 08:02 AM

39 and holding for a few years now.

Should I rub it in and tell you I almost got carded twice in Vegas last year???

Happy B-day!

Posted by: Sandy P at April 26, 2004 08:34 AM

Happy Birthday.

Posted by: Emily at April 26, 2004 08:34 AM

Happy Birthday!!

Posted by: Tanya at April 26, 2004 09:14 AM

On the bright side, you can run for president now.

Posted by: JFH at April 26, 2004 09:25 AM

My crisis birthday was my thirty-third (1/3 of a century don't you know). Now I have two teenage daugthers and frankly I have more important things to think about.

Posted by: David at April 26, 2004 10:42 AM

Happy birthday, hoss!

35 doesn't seem too bad to me, but I have a bit before I get there (33 in six weeks). But I understand the whole "not quite as gullible" thing - some knowledge is more hard-won than others.

Posted by: Captain Sunshine at April 26, 2004 11:10 AM

Happy birthday, old man!

Posted by: andy at April 26, 2004 12:34 PM

Yes, happy birthday. It doesn't get any better, by the way.

Posted by: Jeff G at April 26, 2004 12:50 PM

Happy Birthday, Mr. Green.

Welcome to the 35-50 bracket. Heh. (I'll be 38 this year. Whee!)

Posted by: Dean Esmay at April 26, 2004 01:06 PM

A very happy birthday to a man wiser than his years! Based on my experience living in the 35 to 50 bracket, I am here to tell you that it does get better, although I can't yet speak for the next bracket. (Individual results may vary, of course....)

Posted by: Eric Scheie at April 26, 2004 01:35 PM

Some silver at the temples. The pitter-patter of little feet. That sort of thing. Woo-hoo!

Happy birthday!

Posted by: Jim at April 26, 2004 03:40 PM

happy birthday, stephen:

but, if you think that turning 35 is bad, my oldest daugter turned 25 today - and that is much worse, for me!

i would like to share a story with you. we have a close friend whose late mother was a wonderful southern lady and who always had something to say. one of her favorites was regarding women's ages. she always said that once a woman turns 29, she stays 29 until she has grandchildren, at which point she becomes permanently 39. you may want to share this with melissa!

may God grant you many, many years!!!

vlad the conservative cossack

Posted by: vlad at April 26, 2004 06:04 PM

35 to 50 is a "bracket"?

All this time I thought it was a "crisis".

Happy birthday. ;-)

Posted by: Kate at April 26, 2004 06:37 PM

Happy birthday!

Posted by: Jay Solo at April 26, 2004 09:28 PM

Happy b-day.

If the line about puberty was supposed to be a reference to chest hair, be happy- at least you won't be finding white ones there, too.

Posted by: rosignol at April 27, 2004 07:59 PM

Happy belated birthday. 35 is a great age.

RE: "I think I look my age. And that's fine by me.":

I turned 42 and started getting gray hair. I've come to realize that a substantial part of the key to personal happiness is maintaining an ability to age gracefully, i.e., to accept the inevitability of your advancing years and its accompanying wisdom and experience as a gift from God, rather than something to be resisted.

Nothing is more pathetic than someone who acts like they're 21 when they are over 40. Where's the dignity in that?

Posted by: Hawaiian Island Creations at April 29, 2004 12:17 AM