People keep asking me, "So why no drink recipes, VodkaBoy?"

Look, if you can't figure out how to pour icy vodka into an icy martini glass, then you've probably had too many. That, and I don't believe in girly drinks. If a cocktail involves more than booze, a mixer, some ice, and maybe a wedge of fruit, then I'm usually not interested. Besides, Mr. Boston has you covered already.

Then I realized he doesn't have these. . .

Two Daves Jell-O™ Shots

You probably remember these from some party you can't remember from way back when. The frat boys or whoever used grain alcohol or cheap-ass vodka, and generic red gelatin. And shots were so goddamn god-awful you wouldn't touch them until you were already drunk. Which, in my opinion, defeats the entire purpose of Jell-O™ Shots – and that's to act as tasty booze time-release capsules.

So today I offer you The Two Daves recipe for Jell-O™ Shots.

You'll need:

2 packages ("family" or "economy" size) of some red-type Jell-O™
2 packages blue raspberry Jell-O™
2 package pineapple Jell-O™
2 packages lime Jell-O™
2 packages orange Jell-O™
2 packages chocolate Jell-O™
A ton of little two-once cups with lids. (You'll find them, sold separately, at Sam's Club or any similar superstore.)
A can of non-flavored Pam.
Two or three baking pans
Various big bottles of liquor, to be described later
Half of an empty fridge or a bunch of coolers with ice
A bunch of friends for the pre-party party needed to make the shots

This one is more about procedure than recipe, so let's get the easy part out of the way first.

Make the Jell-O™ according to the directions, but replace exactly one-half of the water with booze. The secret is, what booze you mix with what flavor. Here's how you mix them:

Red Jell-O™ with decent vodka (anything better than Popov) Blue Raspberry Jell-O™ with Blue Curaçao Pineapple Jell-O™ with coconut rum Lime Jell-O™ with tequila (these go quickly, so you might want to make extra) Orange Jell-O™ with white rum, or raspberry vodka. Chocolate Jell-O™ pudding (slight variation) with vanilla vodka

The procedure is the tricky part, and you'll need at least five people who don't mind getting sticky. One to make the Jell-O, one to arrange the containers on the baking trays and spray on the Pam, one to pour the liquid Jell-O™ into the containers, one to put the lids on, and one designated Jell-O™ Shot Wench to take the trays away and stack the shots in the fridge.

Our experiments have shown that the arranging guy can double as the lid guy. The Jell-O™ Shot Wench is also in charge of bringing a few (or so) gelled shots back to The Gang for quality control purposes.

The Pam allows the shots to slide out freely, with only the slightest tongue-prodding. Ask Tim Blair – I'm sure he recalls at least that much from last Halloween.

Fill the cups up only about halfway or so.

The whole process should take less than three hours, and make (wild-ass guess) about 500 shots. One of the Two Daves and I did the math one night, and figured out that one Jell-O™ shot is about 40% of a regular 1.5-ounce shot of booze. Then again, we had quality-controlled a bunch of shots by that point, so our math might have been a bit fuzzy.

Let the shots chill overnight, then throw a really very quite serious party.

NOTE: Please feel free to improvise with the booze/Jell-O™ combos - but remember that there are limits. One Halloween a few years back, we attempted to make black shots, using black food dye, unflavored gelatin, and Jagermeister. Turns out the citric acid in the dye prevents the Jell-O™ from completely gelling, leaving you with something that looks like hot tar and smells like Vicks 44.