Let me see if I got all this right. While I was gone:

President Bush blew up the World Trade Center.

Israel caved into Yasser Arafat and the Nativity gunmen.

Suicide bombers are back in business.

The entire West Coast has converted to Wahhabi Islam.

And in the blogosphere, Glenn Reynolds is suffering from writer’s block, Virginia Postrel has switched to penny loafers, and Asparagirl has given up girls and Judaism, and gone Pentecostal.

Well, that’s how it sounds from what I’ve been reading since I got home Thursday afternoon.

The world is not going to hell. We’re not even in the hand basket. We’ve looked at it, sure. We’ve even put our toes in and wiggled’em around a bit. The hand basket dealer is offering a great deal if we act soon, no money down.

Yeah, the usual idiots are making the usual stupid noises. The War is in a (frustratingly) quiet phase. Bush is stuffing his political capital under the mattress. There’s a lot to complain about.

But it’s gonna be alright. Really.

Saddam Hussein is enjoying his last summer. He may still be diddling little girls, but he has to do it in a different bed every night. Arafat still draws breath, but he’s wheezing – not to mention senile, discredited, and unable to travel. California public colleges are allowing the most primitive kinds of anti-Semitism on their campuses, but doing so will inflame public opinion against PC totalitarianism.

Glenn is still posting madly, Virginia still has some hot little black heels, and so what if Brooke ever went Pentecostal? That snake-handling stuff would be kinda hot.

Now I admit I have a lot of catching up to do -- but I have a very large drink, a good bout of insomnia, and two weeks of pent-up venting to let out.

This is gonna be fun.