Whoa, there...if that was a "dis" on Prince, be sure to exempt the "dissing" from his *early* years (pre"Purple Rain")!

I do NOT dis the Purple One.

The gin-fueled British built an Empire.

The vodka-fueld Russians became the Soviet Union.

'Nuff said.

You think that saying Prince is a combination of Hendrix and Sly is a dis? Since when?

I like your lists more than Eric Alterman's.

Gee, I thought I had expensive tastes. All I want is a 2003 BMW M5.
That Mercedes is gorgeous, though. I compliment you on your taste in cars.

Wow.... I had no idea Dave Barry owned a car like that.... ;-)

'Sensible shoes' Postrel? You may have just made her 'list.'

there's nothing wrong with a BMW Z3, and @ 6'3" I fit in mine quite comfortably :-)

Even conservatives (me) believe that some of the best music came out of the acid-rock 60s.

(Written while listening to Jefferson Airplane under the influence of Rogue Dead Guy Ale -- sorry, Stephen, no vodka for this right-wing gullet.)

Is it true that I'm no longer young? Up against the wall, mother-(shut yo' mouth).

Regards.

Stephen,

Quick question - what's your favorite brand of Vodka?

Things I know but can't prove...

Yassar Arafat gives great head (check out those lips).

Mwahahahaha! *snort*!

I dunno, is sausage considered halal?

[ducks, runs]

1)The world really started it's downhill slide when David Lee Roth left Van Halen.
2)If someone says they are "just kidding". they're not.

Things I know but cannot prove:

--Cats can read the newspaper, but only through osmosis when they stretch out across the page you are reading.

--People who set fires, destroy property, and throw bottles at cops after their sports team wins aren't "revelers" who are "celebrating," they are "idiots" who are "committing crimes." Pepper spray and felonies all around, ladies and gents!

--(nerd warning) Debugging complex electronics that you didn't design is the purest form of hell.

--Discovering a fundamental flaw in something you did design is even worse.

Re the Lileks item on your list: The preferred formulation for this sentiment is "Thank God I'm still an atheist."

Your Cedar-Rapidsophobia is rather curious. I may be wrong, but I'm sensing latent tedium envy.

Iowans: we're here, we're boring, get used to it.

If a woman tells you that she is pregnant, under no circumstances look at her waist.

Re: fans, celebrating, and pepper spray...I'd gladly buy the second "round" for those idiots. Put it on my tab!

Things I Know But Can't Prove:
Michael Moore and Janet Reno are the SAME PERSON.

Never mind the shoes; Virginia Postrel is hot, period. As a matter of fact, I'm considering transferring my Hopeless Crush on Some Celebrity Who Doesn't Know I'm Alive and Would Object to My Being Alive If She Did from Lucy Lawless to Virginia Postrel.

By the way, Mr. Green, as a native Detroiter and former UAW local officer, I hope you get and enjoy your Mercedes. And don't even think about the probability that the guy who put the brakes on in the factory lost his entire family when we bombed Frankfurt and has hated Americans ever since...and waited.

Here are some things I know but can't prove:

Everything in pop music dating past the mid-fifties is crap.

The electric guitar is the worst disaster to befall music in history.

The designated hitter rule is an abomination before the Lord.

The only question regarding the New York Yankees is whether they are a metaphor for evil or evil itself.

If Lucy Lawless met me she'd really like me.

kFor that matter, if that beautiful woman I often see in the elevator, who won't even say "good morning" back, ever got to know me, she'd fall in love with me.

Susan Sontag and Katha Pollitt are moral imbeciles and Noam Chomsky is a pathological liar...oh, wait, I can prove that.

Not all Bud drinkers are jerks, but all jerks are Bud drinkers.

Even numbered classic Trek movies don't suck as badly as odd numbered ones.

Next-G Trek movies don't suck as badly as Battlefield Earth. But not by much.

Science Fiction is no excuse for bad writing, poor characterization, and super-jovian sized plotholes.

Unless you're writing erotica, sex scenes should have some sort of bearing on the plot.

Harry Turtledove should be writing Harlequin Romances instead of alternate history sci-fi if he won't keep the gratuitous sex scenes to a reasonable level.

Life is but an illusion,
A really good one.

Vodka is better than gin, but bourbon is the best of all.

Nice, some other Bourbon drinkers out there I see.
1)Knob Creek
2)Wild Turkey
3)Booker's
With these, a lil dab'll do ya.
I've always wondered about those clear liquor folks...

1. If you were to give the universe an enema, the nozzle would go in Pierre, South Dakota.
2. Beer is proof that a benevolent Creator exists...
3. ...Platypi are proof that He has a sense of humor.
4. The best Vodka is Svedka, it rates slightly behind Grey Goose and is about half the price. My personal close second is Stolichnaya.
5. Vodka should be drunk chilled neat, and accompanied by boisterous Russian toasts and/or curses.
6. Al Gore is an automaton from Disneyland that went horribly, horribly wrong.
7. If I had a lightsaber, I would chop off one of my own limbs by accident.
8. The more unpronouncable and German the name of a beer is, the better it is. (Take Weihenstepher for instance...)
9. Bill Clinton's real name is Faust.
10. Cats are the dominant form of life on Earth.

Whether you prefer gin (like me) or vodka, vermouth is a complete waste of time.

My contribution:

Ignorance is bliss but you will never understand this until you gain knowledge.

Writing is therapeutic...but so is a half-hour on the punching bag at the gym while blasting angry music [such as: nin's "broken"] when writing doesn't seem to do the trick.

Ale and stout are better than beer.

Sometimes you need to step away from the world and enjoy the simple things in life in order to put things in perspective.

The existence of warm sunshine, comfy chairs, and well-prepared hash browns proves the existence of a benevolent God.

I always knew that Virginia Postrel existed at a height that libertarian women like me could only aspire to... but I never quite knew why. Thanks to Stephen, now I know.

Oh, those sensible shoes.

I know that Maureen Dowd thinks we should be more like oversexed Bonobo apes.

And I CAN prove it!

I know that my animals are objectively cooler, funnier, and generally superior to any other creatures in the universe.

I know that my last name is perfectly phonetic, if you just stare at it long enough. (Hsieh is pronounced "Shay" -- but with a light touch on the "ay". Be grateful that it's not the more modern spelling: Xie.)

I know that my computers are protesting my change of professions (from programming to philosophy) by mutiliating themselves and committing suicide one by one.

I know that I am merely a humble servant to our alpha-cat, Clara.

I know that calling my husband "Mr. Woo" is technically incorrect. His name is "Mr. Hsieh."

I know that I should be working on my upcoming lectures rather than constructing this list of silly things I know. So off I go!

I know that God put golf clubs, balls, and courses on this earth to irritate me.

Teaching kids to read makes you realize how tough english really is.

The look that your wife gets when she's really mad at you is passed on to your daughter in a special gene. (my 3-year old has it already)

Kids will generally not lie about important subjects unless prodded to by an adult.

Kids understand more than you think.

Puppies know more than you think.

James Taranto is a genius.

Some people who post at Lucianne.com are scary and I hope they live in another state.

Talk radio is where good arguments go to die.

Australians and Canadians make excellent beer. (try Victoria Bitters).

Tiger Woods is not of this world.

Ann Coulter is hot but she needs to lay off the starbucks.

Charles Krauthammer and Jonah Goldberg are two men who can bitch-slap other people with there keyboards.

As Sgt. Stryker said, I hope Lileks never gets pissed at me.

Somethings I know but cannot prove:

Even vodka is no good on an empty stomach (oh wait, I can prove that)

Teenagers think they know more than their parents until they are in their 20's, then the parents get smart again.

That good friends are at least as good as family, and sometimes much much better

Stephen we think along the same lines. I posted on my blog I suspected that Glenn forced his students to trawl the internet for him. I think they volunteer for this job to get brownie points with the prof, extra credit if you will.

Either that or he has deviously set up a contest with all his students to try to find the best link of the day.

I'll take a Grey Goose martini up, please--with two olives.

Beer/ale/lager etc. should never be consumed unless it is 6.1% alcohol or higher.

Why wear sensible shoes when you can parade around in heel-and-back seam stockings?

Lafayette, IN is the most mind-numbingly boring place in America.

Skinner was always in love with Scully.

The laws of "aisle convergence" state that when you reach the smallest point of any aisle in a retail store, there will be three other people who suddenly materialize and block your passage.

There are more crazy people than sane people walking the streets of downtown San Francisco.

Patsy Ramsey did it. Robert Blake did it. Gary Condit did it.

I would fool around with Bill Clinton.

The more you smile at a bartender, the more free drinks you get.

Someday we will all be implanted with ID chips, like a SKU number, which will automatically be scanned when we enter a store or building. This will allow for the easier identification and capture of criminals (kind of like tagging an animal) and when we want to purchase something, it will instantly be deducted from our bank or credit accounts.

Tom Cruise is asexual.

We're ALL a little gay.

Beulah is the next big thing.

We can all die at any time, so let's live it up!

I'm cursed, as the Cub's futility has followed me to Colorado and the Rockies.

Coors beer(?) tastes great in the hot sun at the ballpark.

Dogs are attracted to me, I was one.

I feel very safe driving my F-250, V10.

Grey Goose is excellent; frozen, thick and syrupy, but it ain't worth $24 and gin used to make my aunt crazy.

Thank God W won.

The dropped fastener always rolls to the most inaccessible place.

By the time you think about shortening sail, it's usually too late.

I'd have rather been in VINCENNES than STARK.

Oh yeah, if the name has a color and an animal, it is probably a gay bar.

Things I know but cannot prove...

I really am thin inside...
I CAN drive Steve's cars.
He's pretty cool for an engaged guy.
I AM getting the new T Bird convertable.
It's Bombay Blue Sapphire if you must drink gin.
Age doesn't matter.

Things I Know, but Cannot Prove:

The Bible is truthful and God does exist.

Sleep modes on a laptop REALLY suck when playing a game.

My Gravis GamePad Pro hates me.

Things I know but cannot prove:

Computers are sentient.

If your program will not compile, sometimes it helps to stare at the screen, scream "why won't it work", and try to compile it again. That sometimes scares it into working.

The world is controlled by one or more powerful secret societies. They are entirely composed of rich white men.

Gin and vermouth are a marriage made in Heaven-- vodka's a homewreaker.

People who order extra-dry "martinis" with no vermouth need to learn to say "flash-chilled gin [or vodka, if you insist] straight up" if that's what they want.

Plymouth gin beats all that I've tried.

A martini garnished with a lemon twist tastes better than one with that early-50s innovation, the olive.

I'm not supposed to drink on my medication-- but that I can prove.